Patronising comments about mature love

I have a widowed sister in her 60's who found love again and is now remarried. They are very affectionate in public but not to the point of being obnoxious. They have had strangers tell them that they are such a cute couple. Recently, strangers noticed their sweet affection in a restaurant and paid for their meal. There will be people who are happy for you so try to ignore the rest.

ginny

I can’t actually see what you are objecting to PetiFromage. They seem perfectly nice comments to me.
I very pleased for you.

I thought the same too.

Oreo

It isn’t that you have found love again OP it’s the fact you’re holding hands, which many couples still do even at Golden Wedding age.
We sometimes hold hands but have never had any comments, but in any case I would have just laughed if we had done.
Am now tempted to have a public full on snog just to see if anyone reacts😄

Made my day that one. I had a very big smile on my face. Go on I dare you and take a video! {smile}

How lovely to hear.

Yes, maybe a bit of guilt, but thank you for your kind and encouraging comments, and I do feel lucky to have found love again later in life.

petra

Baggs

ginny

I can’t actually see what you are objecting to PetiFromage. They seem perfectly nice comments to me.
I very pleased for you.

Agreed.

The OP is either too sensitive or looks for offence where non was meant.

To be fair I was wondering if there is a little bit of (unwarranted) guilt after having a lovely marriage and now finding someone else.

Sorry I can't see anything wrong with the comments at all. It's no wonder so many people have stopped being friendly and interacting with others.

DH and I often hold hands when we are out and we're almost 70. No one has ever commented. If anyone ever did say 'I hope I'm still so in love.....' I would probably just smile and say 'Well you've got to work at it... it doesn't just happen'.

Just grab what you've found in both hands and enjoy it.

Baggs

ginny

I can’t actually see what you are objecting to PetiFromage. They seem perfectly nice comments to me.
I very pleased for you.

Agreed.

The OP is either too sensitive or looks for offence where non was meant.

There was a verse in a song by Lonnie Donegan Im sure many remember it

My old man's a dustman he's got an 'eart of gold
He got married recently tho he's 86 yrs old
We said 'ere hang on dad you're gettin past your prime
Well when you get to my age son it 'elps to pass the time.

Been with hubby 13 yrs,married for 6,we hold hands when we go out,why not and for both of us it's third time lucky

My greatgrandfather remarried in his eighties. He had got it into his head that his children could claim that he wasn't compos mentis as he was over 80, so he gave his age as about 10 years younger than reality. This amused the said children, as it would have made him 13 when his eldest son was born.

PetitFromage Why shouldn't older people be in love?

They should be. You could smile and ignore daft comments.

Doodledog

No reason at all. I hope you and your partner are very happy together.

Sometimes people just don’t know what to say, and sometimes young people can’t imagine being older - remember we were once young, but they have never been our age 😀. Ignore the lot of them, and enjoy your love. 🥰

Quite...........
On my 36th birthday , my elder sister sent me a card with the message " soon you'll never believe that one day you were this young" . The tone was wistful, not nasty and I have never forgotten it.
73. How did that happen ?
Don't worry about thoughtless remarks from a few strangers , Petitfromage . "We must all press on and rise above it." I can't remember who said that. It wasn't me I am just quoting it.

My DM found a new love at age 77. He was 80 and honestly they were like teenagers. Not wanting to mess up their finances, they didn't marry. It was great for us, we knew she was having the time of her life, apart maybe from being a WAAF in intelligence in WWII.
They had 8 wonderful years until she died. He was inconsolable and died two years later aged 90.

I don’t see the comments as demonstrating jealousy or as being
nasty. Maybe wistful because of their own experiences?

We quite often hold hands, especially out walking - helps with balance apart from anything else. 67 is young, we have ‘new’ couples in their 80 s at our Probus club and they often cuddle up to each other. Just think, jealousy is a curse, when people make nasty comments!

I will Dickens if him indoors is up for it outdoors 🤭

I’d never comment on anything like that but inside I’d be thinking it was a lovely thing to see. Perhaps it gladdens people’s hearts to see other people so happy. ❤️

Oreo

It isn’t that you have found love again OP it’s the fact you’re holding hands, which many couples still do even at Golden Wedding age.
We sometimes hold hands but have never had any comments, but in any case I would have just laughed if we had done.
Am now tempted to have a public full on snog just to see if anyone reacts😄

Am now tempted to have a public full on snog just to see if anyone reacts

Please do that - and report back to us!

All I can say is good for you... How wonderful to find someone after a long time on your own.
My Grandmother, in her 80's several years after my Grandad died met a gentleman they became inseparable in their later life.
They had many happy years together, she passed away at 89 he went 6 months later.

I don’t actually like holding hands with MrA……but having limited mobility I do have to have a little extra support occasionally. Not holding hands certainly isn’t an indication that a couple aren’t in love and the suggestion that some random couple are more in love than another couple just beggars belief.

I really don't think the comments are born out of jealousy. Nor do I consider the comments patronising.
It seems to me that people recognise that you are in love and say what they feel.
As I am someone who found love again after being widowed I think you should take the comments as compliments.
I wish you every happiness.

Feeling patronised doesn't necessarily mean someone was being patronising.

You can let such things wash over you and enjoy your happiness. Would you rather people scowled and looked disgusted? THAT could be ageist and patronising.

It isn’t that you have found love again OP it’s the fact you’re holding hands, which many couples still do even at Golden Wedding age.
We sometimes hold hands but have never had any comments, but in any case I would have just laughed if we had done.
Am now tempted to have a public full on snog just to see if anyone reacts😄

ginny

I can’t actually see what you are objecting to PetiFromage. They seem perfectly nice comments to me.
I very pleased for you.

Agreed.