I have a brand new gadget,
It's called a Kitchen Ninja,
It makes breadcrumbs, grinds coffee beans,
Makes granulated into caster (rotten rhyme).
It is from the USA,
I could use it all day,
And I hope I don't offend,
It is really my new best friend. 
It was circa 1980 when you came into my life,
You were highly recommended - so much faster than a knife,
You grated, chopped and pureed and your sponge mix was divine,
As a busy wife and mother I was happy you were mine.
You made breadcrumbs for the stuffing of the turkey or the goose,
Whizzed up fluffy brandy butter, salmon pate, chocolate mousse,
You shredded veg so expertly you didn't waste a bit
And your grated cheese on pasta soon became a massive hit.
I was sorry when I dropped your lid which caused a massive crack
But with the help of Sellotape we soon got back on track,
You soldiered on throughout the years, fulfilling every need
But you wobbled on the worktop and you couldn't make top speed.
Then this morning when I switched you on you didn't make a sound,
No puffs of flour escaping as your blades go whizzing round
And so tomorrow morning I will have to bite my lip
When DH removes your plug before I take you to the tip 
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