Waste

Widgeon - but some people 'in this country' make free with salt before tasting
a dish. Same thing surely, I feel sorry for your Muslim guest!

Just mouse over the pics janeainsworth and the larger pic swaps between the two.

I understand what you mean. Is it because each generation reacts against the way that they were brought up and tries to do things differently? I was brought up fairly strictly, there was little choice - you ate what you were given or went without. There wasn't the money to be indulged.
Now our generation indulge children because they can, there's a choice given. We recall the arguments/tantrums of our childhood and don't want to repeat them.
Also these days parents want to be 'friends' with their children and are afraid of being unpopular with them, so less authority.

I have found, from about the age of 4, that letting my DGD help herself from the serving dishes resulted in healthy choices and cleared plates. She knows that 'seconds' are available when the plate is empty so doesn't overload her plate.

I wouldn't dream of presenting an adult with a plate of food as I wouldn't know how much they'd like to eat so why would I do that for a child?

I think maybe food is not expensive enough and that is why some people waste it. Our children don't waste much food, they can't afford to and were brought up not to, but they do tend to give the grandchildren large portions so there is often waste. We have a rule that if you don't eat your first course you don't get pudding (usually a small scoop of icecream).Seems to work. Breakfasts and lunches (often a picnic indoors or out) work fine and we also have a food chart to encourage a wider diet. I was a fussy eater as a child so I can't really complain but I do try not to overstock the fridge when we have visitors but have plenty of fruit and veg as that never need go to waste. Sympathy for those who struggle though and although food may be proportionally cheaper than years ago there is plenty else that isn't.

I try to instil "take a little, you can always come back for more" which is fine with our two locally living DGC but DD1 and family have been to stay for the last three days and has different rules. Her two have big eyes and small stomachs, especially the youngest (aged five). So, at yesterday's BBQ I had one spare rib chop and a bit of salad - then finished off most of her potato salad, two chicken drumsticks with a bit or two out of each and three quarters of a scotch egg. DGS stole her untouched sausage. I declined the garlic bread crusts, which went to the dogs. So having really eaten very little savoury she had plenty of room for two helpings of different chocolate puddings!

The previous day her dad had finished her barely touched lasagne (made by DD1 and known favourite). So probably not much food actually wasted but the adults eat more than they wanted. Is that waste?

Bought a large leg of lamb and although we are all, including 18mnth old GS, good eaters , lots left. My mum used to have a wonderful old mincer that had to be screwed to th kitchen table to make mince. Sadly that's disaapeared but the food processor proved a worthy successor, and we've got shepheards pie tonight?

I think we've moved on from "Clear the plate" regardless of whether you are still hungry or not as it teaches children to over ride their natural brain signals that tell them they are full; probably for the best as it is likely to result in obesity/food issues. Provided my GC have eaten a balanced meal, I wouldn't offer more once they'd reached satiation point. I do think us oldies do need to take on board that today's strategies around eating are very different.

Soniah....do you really believe that food isn't expensive enough? I'm already finding it hard to budget and even cuts like braising steak have become a treat rather than a regular. I don't waste money. There is no use rummaging in my fridge or cupboards for crisps or biscuits because there aren't any.

When my DD was small - and alarmingly fussy about her food - the health visitor gave me a reproving look and said 'There are no food fads in poor homes'. That did pull me up short and I thought about my own childhood when I was given a good meal with fresh vegetables and expected to eat it. If I didn't there as nothing else until the next meal.

I think food has been cheaper for a long time now in that it has taken up a smaller proportion of most people's budgets than was the case when I was young (50s and 60s), as standards of living and disposable incomes rose. It does seem to be getting dearer recently though.
On the subject of waste, although more councils do compost food, which is of course a good thing, it remains the case that many people seem to believe it is ok to buy too much which in turn encourages overproduction. Whereas looking ahead with climate change and increasing population we should all be trying to consume less - food, but also 'stuff'. IMO.

Growing up in the US, we were always told about the starving children in China, so we should not waste the food on our plate... I remember piping up to my parents that the Chinese children could have my dinner! (It was something awful, like equal to tripe here).

Does anyone now point out that families are starving in North Korea? I wonder what today's children would think about that?

Izabella I use tiny bowls to portion food to little GC because they really don't know what they can eat. Maybe smaller portions? I know, to myself, I hate waste and would be upset like you. Maybe talk to your children about green concerns, the growing and weather environment and not wasting?

I learnt very early - when my eldest was 2 - to serve one meal and that's it. When I realised I had just made 3 separate lunches for my son (same sitting) and he hadn't eaten one of them, I never did it again.
Perhaps the Charles Loughton thing in "Hobson's Choice" (it will be served up at every meal until you eat it) is a bit over the top these days but I remember a "childcare guru" saying that kids will not voluntarily starve themseleves. Serve what you think is reasonable and if they don't eat it, don't offer anything else. Their Mum may actually thank you for it!

vampirequeenmy late mother never did that eat it or go without thing with us and I'm 63,her mother didn't do it with her 6 children either.Both were fussy eaters and as my mother said you wouldn't expect an adult to force down food they dont want/like so why would you do that to a child.I have to admit to spending whole days cooking something ANYTHING that my son would eat when he was a toddler,but as he was two and a bit pounds when he was born and only 15 pounds at a year old I felt he was worth it.Once he'd passed that stage he was agreat wee eater and still is...though at 29 and 5 foot 8 he still only weighs 8 stone 4 .Try putting yourself in a wee ones shoes,when you tell them that if they dont eat what YOU want them to they go without.Its not just wrong its cruel

I think some of the refusal to eat particular foods is just a declaration of independence and you do have to be careful not to make problems the other way. I would always put just a little bit of a 'not liked' food on the plate and say I would like them to try it but no more than that. I don't think we have ever offered the children or, now, the GCs different meals - except in a restaurant. I could never get my son to eat tomatoes until he tried them at 18 and then said "why haven't I eaten these for all these years?" There was no answer to that!"

I would never, never, never try to persuade or cajole my DGC into clearing their plates. I serve very small portions - they can have more if they finish it- and if they don't want the food, they are allowed bread and cheese and salad or fresh fruit. No other alternatives are produced, and there is no pressure to eat. I only insist that they sit quietly for ten minutes in order that other diners can eat in peace, and that they don't whinge about the food, because that's plain discourteous.
The reason I won't have any rules other than reasonable manners is that I was forced to eat as a child, very often left sitting in front of a congealing plateful, then beaten if I didn't eat everything. I was constantly told I was ungrateful and wicked.
The consequences have been a lifelong eating disorder, poor digestion, and depression linked with low self-esteem. I find it difficult to describe the misery and fear that I experienced. I realise that this was a bit extreme, but I don't expect I was the only child who suffered similar treatment. My parents had both endured extreme hunger and deprivation, and they could not understand that anyone might refuse a heaped and lovingly prepared plate of food.
This is something I feel very strongly about, and I hope it doesn't offend other Gransnetters who are firm with their DGC in less severe ways.
I suppose we are all products of our various upbringings, and I for one have not completely recovered from mine after nearly seventy years!

It's comforting to know that I'm not alone in having fussy GC! I've now taken to putting a selection of cold meats, chips and/or mashed potato on the table along with cucumber, hard boiled eggs, cheese and it's up to them what they choose to eat. It's certainly reduced my 'frazzle'levels!
Our council in its wonderful wisdom has stopped recycling food waste and we now have to bung it in the non recyclable waste. The original bin is to be used for garden waste only for which we pay an annual fee for collection!!

I find the greatest difference these days is that the parent asks the child "What would you like for dinner?" and then proceeds to make individual meals to everyone's taste! And they STILL leave half of it. Children are definitely more fussy eaters than when I or mine were young. Then it was a case of eat it or go without.

Roast yesterday, leftovers baked in the oven to day stir fry to morrow all gone

We have a posse of feral cats in our road plus a couple of foxes - they eat anything. Also our council collects waste food every week so nothing is wasted.

I bite my tongue when parents are present but the children abide by my rules when they aren't. No choices are given though I do not give things which I know are disliked. Like another poster I do try to encourage good manners and now GS tells his parents off if they "misbehave"!

If children (or adults) are 'too full' to finish their meal, then they are too full for desert and certainly too full for any snacks in between!

sluttygran
I guess that your parents, like mine, grew up in the 'Hungry 30's'. I'm sorry that you suffered the consequences in the way that you did.

Thank you janeainsworth for your kind remarks. Yes, my parents grew up in terrible times, my father losing siblings to malnutrition during the 'hungry thirties' , and my mother developing tuberculosis from lack of food and poor living conditions. My father later did well and became quite wealthy, so a heavily laden table was both a statement of good fortune, and compensation for that earlier hunger which had marked them both so severely. I was born into the Welfare State with all its benefits and free vitamins, and dad was probably correct when he said I had no idea how lucky I was!
I hope those bad days don't return, but with food banks becoming more prevalent, I fear that we are facing troubled times. It's good that we try to tackle food waste in whatever way we can, and that we think of those who don't have enough, and help them when we can.