Waste

My grandchildren used to be extremely fussy about what they would eat (ex son in law used to do the cooking and it was based mostly around pasta). They now eat a much more varied range of foods and I do try to get them to taste different dishes so that they can experience them. My eldest granddaughter isn't a meat lover but will eat sausages and chicken nuggets and such, she doesn't like the vegetarian options such as nut roasts ('Yucky' was her comment)so she has omelettes, scrambled eggs, poached and boiled eggs along with beans on toast or a jacket potato. Plus Toad in the Hole and such like. Don't have much food waste at all and it doesn't take much time to make what she will eat, especially as most of us also like the things she does (Grandson is definitely not vegetarian and likes meat, especially bacon!)

Healthy snacks bother me not a jot. The children eat nuts, cheese, veg, bread and butter, and baked potatoes. I consider it all part of the total food for the day.

My 2 would have 3-4 snacks per hour if left to their own devices. When they're with me I stick to schoolday timing.
Breakfast around 8 (cereal and toast) then a snack at playtime (10.15). Lunch at 12.30 with snack at 3 and tea around 5.30.
(Not that rigid obviously!)
If they ask for anything else I point out that they manage without snacks at school.
GS is picky and I do worry about his diet but realise that Mum will make the main decisions.
But 'my house my rules'.

DGC are not catered for on an individual basis at home. DS cooks an evening meal for them all most nights and the whole family eat together. Much the same as I have always done.

The only waste during last week's visit to us, was toast crusts and some cereal - fed to the birds- and some cooked runner beans, a vegetable not easily recycled. It is difficult to get the quantity needed for 6 exactly right, and what was left went in to the compost bin.

It was the quantity they ate rather than how much they left that boggled me.

Pollyperkins. Very similar in my Sons' family.. they have always eaten healthily and encouraged my 8 year old grandaughter to choose the right things..which, it is nice to see, she is doing for herself now. My lovely DIL and DS have never made food an issue so she is open to trying nearly everything and has a refreshingly good appetite.. the odd treat is nearly always allowed but she also understands when told no and I can honestly say never makes a fuss bless her. And her choice of drink is water 99% of the time.. Having said all that she too still wastes milk at the bottom of her cereal bowl!

Some of that cheese could have been salvaged jane

Don't be sorry Jane..could see your photos perfectly of the innocent Winnie and the cheese...very funny!. ?

People have different ideas about food. . My DiL only serves 'healthy' food but does not insist they eat it- in fact she says 'you can leave it if you want to. ' as she doesnt want to create battles and hang ups over food. However no alternative is provided - she is very strict. She would disapprove strongly about using pudding as an incentive to eat up the first course. (I have to admit i was guilty of this in the past with my own children!) Only fruit and occasionally natural yogurt are served as dessert.
My own children were very fussy and i tried everything (including all your suggestions) to get them to eat so i am sympathetic and not critical to young parents trying to deal with this. Its not necessarily a generational thing - everyone is different.

I've extolled their virtues before but worth repeating I think. As a low-carber I rarely stock/cook potatoes for myself but the DGC do like mash, fries & baked potatoes. They're also time-saving and very economical:

Frozen mash Proper potato, easy to portion, microwave a couple of minutes

Microwave chips 4 small packs, each pack enough for a child, microwave couple of minutes

Baked potatoes Previously oven-baked then frozen, about 6 minutes in microwave, 4 in a box. Each a good size but not too big for children.

Absolutely no waste.

Are you actually reading my posts? I don't give the children food that I know they don't like.

"modern children" aren't different though just the ones you know,as I said before my mother and grandmother didn't have any issues with feeding different things to their families ,I for instance have NEVER eaten fowl of any kind ,when there was chicken or turkey in our house I had ham or a cheese salad but I decided what I would eat ,my mother would never have put food in front of any of us and expected us to eat something we didn't want to.I was born in the mid fifties ,my mother was born in 1923 and she was the same as was my granny born in 1888.Hardly "modern"

Paddyann.....if you read my post again you'll see that I never give the children food that I know they don't like and only serve them amounts that they are capable of eating. If you're not hungry enough to eat your main course then you're not hungry enough to need a pudding.

I'm not cruel and I object to you suggesting that I am. I don't have food to waste (even to the council for recycling into compost) and I'm not going down the several meals route. My DDs grew up healthy and don't fuss about food. I don't see why modern children should be any different. We eat healthy but basic food with the occasional treat.

Thank you everyone for your varied and thought provoking responses. I think janeainsworth summed things up best for me and when GS parents are around I will just have to learn to bite my tongue. I have realised that it is they who are the problem.

I will cope with this by being fair but firm when our GS is here on his own. My OH pointed out that he does eat what he is given when he cooks for him and his Parents are not around

Thank you janeainsworth for your kind remarks. Yes, my parents grew up in terrible times, my father losing siblings to malnutrition during the 'hungry thirties' , and my mother developing tuberculosis from lack of food and poor living conditions. My father later did well and became quite wealthy, so a heavily laden table was both a statement of good fortune, and compensation for that earlier hunger which had marked them both so severely. I was born into the Welfare State with all its benefits and free vitamins, and dad was probably correct when he said I had no idea how lucky I was!
I hope those bad days don't return, but with food banks becoming more prevalent, I fear that we are facing troubled times. It's good that we try to tackle food waste in whatever way we can, and that we think of those who don't have enough, and help them when we can.

sluttygran
I guess that your parents, like mine, grew up in the 'Hungry 30's'. I'm sorry that you suffered the consequences in the way that you did.

If children (or adults) are 'too full' to finish their meal, then they are too full for desert and certainly too full for any snacks in between!

I bite my tongue when parents are present but the children abide by my rules when they aren't. No choices are given though I do not give things which I know are disliked. Like another poster I do try to encourage good manners and now GS tells his parents off if they "misbehave"!

We have a posse of feral cats in our road plus a couple of foxes - they eat anything. Also our council collects waste food every week so nothing is wasted.

Roast yesterday, leftovers baked in the oven to day stir fry to morrow all gone

I find the greatest difference these days is that the parent asks the child "What would you like for dinner?" and then proceeds to make individual meals to everyone's taste! And they STILL leave half of it. Children are definitely more fussy eaters than when I or mine were young. Then it was a case of eat it or go without.

It's comforting to know that I'm not alone in having fussy GC! I've now taken to putting a selection of cold meats, chips and/or mashed potato on the table along with cucumber, hard boiled eggs, cheese and it's up to them what they choose to eat. It's certainly reduced my 'frazzle'levels!
Our council in its wonderful wisdom has stopped recycling food waste and we now have to bung it in the non recyclable waste. The original bin is to be used for garden waste only for which we pay an annual fee for collection!!

I would never, never, never try to persuade or cajole my DGC into clearing their plates. I serve very small portions - they can have more if they finish it- and if they don't want the food, they are allowed bread and cheese and salad or fresh fruit. No other alternatives are produced, and there is no pressure to eat. I only insist that they sit quietly for ten minutes in order that other diners can eat in peace, and that they don't whinge about the food, because that's plain discourteous.
The reason I won't have any rules other than reasonable manners is that I was forced to eat as a child, very often left sitting in front of a congealing plateful, then beaten if I didn't eat everything. I was constantly told I was ungrateful and wicked.
The consequences have been a lifelong eating disorder, poor digestion, and depression linked with low self-esteem. I find it difficult to describe the misery and fear that I experienced. I realise that this was a bit extreme, but I don't expect I was the only child who suffered similar treatment. My parents had both endured extreme hunger and deprivation, and they could not understand that anyone might refuse a heaped and lovingly prepared plate of food.
This is something I feel very strongly about, and I hope it doesn't offend other Gransnetters who are firm with their DGC in less severe ways.
I suppose we are all products of our various upbringings, and I for one have not completely recovered from mine after nearly seventy years!

I think some of the refusal to eat particular foods is just a declaration of independence and you do have to be careful not to make problems the other way. I would always put just a little bit of a 'not liked' food on the plate and say I would like them to try it but no more than that. I don't think we have ever offered the children or, now, the GCs different meals - except in a restaurant. I could never get my son to eat tomatoes until he tried them at 18 and then said "why haven't I eaten these for all these years?" There was no answer to that!"

vampirequeenmy late mother never did that eat it or go without thing with us and I'm 63,her mother didn't do it with her 6 children either.Both were fussy eaters and as my mother said you wouldn't expect an adult to force down food they dont want/like so why would you do that to a child.I have to admit to spending whole days cooking something ANYTHING that my son would eat when he was a toddler,but as he was two and a bit pounds when he was born and only 15 pounds at a year old I felt he was worth it.Once he'd passed that stage he was agreat wee eater and still is...though at 29 and 5 foot 8 he still only weighs 8 stone 4 .Try putting yourself in a wee ones shoes,when you tell them that if they dont eat what YOU want them to they go without.Its not just wrong its cruel

I learnt very early - when my eldest was 2 - to serve one meal and that's it. When I realised I had just made 3 separate lunches for my son (same sitting) and he hadn't eaten one of them, I never did it again.
Perhaps the Charles Loughton thing in "Hobson's Choice" (it will be served up at every meal until you eat it) is a bit over the top these days but I remember a "childcare guru" saying that kids will not voluntarily starve themseleves. Serve what you think is reasonable and if they don't eat it, don't offer anything else. Their Mum may actually thank you for it!