Feeding the grandkids. Man cannot live on toast (and cocopops) alone!

Fish fingers, toast and fruit will give a child all the macronutrients and some micronutrients needed - probably a bit short on fat.

What does he like on his toast? Would be eat scrambled eggs? Or peanut butter? Or mashed banana? All nutritious but not too challenging!

Don’t stress. My daughter was a dreadful eater but came to no harm. Her son is the same and won’t eat fruit though he did when he was little. He’s a fine , healthy, energetic lad though it’s s puzzle to me and his other gran how he got that way as he eats like a mouse. I think the best thing is not to press too hard for proper food. It just makes fussy eaters more determined.

We have 7 grandchildren and they all have their likes and dislikes like adults do. We don’t make a fuss when they come to us it’s open house they just take what they fancy on the food front. They all like fruit so they have plenty of that. My husband held the fruit bowel to one of our grandsons 6 years old and said take your your pick and he did, he took the whole bowel out of my husbands hands. We just ask them what they want and give them that. Fish fingers, Baked Beans, spaghetti, meat balls, bolognese is normally the most requested.

My DGD, four in September, was always a fussy eater. Refused point blank to eat meat and green veg YUK! She would only eat cheese, potatoes, pasta, baked beans and pizza. However once she started to go to Grandad’s allotment and help him to pick things she was very keen to eat the veg she brought home. She now asks for cauliflower,carrots, broccoli and beans. Grandad has now given her her own little allotment and she is really excited and can’t wait until they can be harvested She has also started to eat chicken and minced meat so her tastes are changing.

well I don't like gin and it wouldn't matter who had made it what an odd thing to be mortified about!

What a helpful thread! I have two GC, little boy (15 months) will eat almost anything, but the almost 3 yr old girl is very picky! But likes red peppers, banana, ham, cheese and is now starting to eat bread. I was mortified about her not liking bread, my father was a master baker and confectioner as was his father before him. We had never had a family member who wouldn't eat bread! It's a minefield isn't it - just try not to put your big foot on a mine and cause trouble with their parents. Step GD stayed with us at 6yrs old. Mealtimes ... well I was a nervous wreck! She's a very well adjusted young woman of 21 and away at uni now. So I take heart from that experience and hope you all do too!

Ealdemodor

I was a fussy eater as a child, and am still quite picky.
My mum used to make a huge deal of it, was always telling people what a problem I was! There was a lot of tension around food.
She wasn’t a bad mum, we had a lot of fun together, but meal times were rarely enjoyable, which is quite sad, I now realise.
Even now, I don’t really enjoy eating with others, fearing comments and judgements on my small appetite.
At least I don’t turn to food for comfort!

It was what mums were supposed to do. One of my older siblings was quite ill as a small child (before I was born) and once she would eat anything again, would only eat semolina. Luckily the GP was sensible and said give her what she wants, anything to keep her eating...and this wasn't months, it was years. Eventually she wanted other things and she is having a long and healthy life. It was a big lesson for my parents and while I won't say we were pandered to, food choices and eating were never made an issue and we all grew up fine and healthy.

The idea of getting them to help you prepare what they are going to eat is a good one.
Even at the age of 4, there is quite a lot that they are capable of doing to help and enjoy themselves. They will often pop things in their mouth without thinking while they are doing it!
As others have said, there is nothing wrong with fish fingers! One of my nephews used to enjoy the vegetable fingers as well and there is always things like chicken dippers, fish cakes and a whole lot of other things coated in breadcrumbs that you may be able to slip in!
The main thing is to try not to worry. You could go all formal, no doubt like many of us had of making them sit at the table until their plate is empty, but this can cause more problems than it cures. If your GS says he is hungry not long after a meal, maybe he will be one of life's grazers, so you could always try leaving small dishes of food out for him to help himself - anything from cheese cubes or sliced fruit to toast etc.
The one thing I will say is to keep an eye on the amount of drinks especially milk he has as they could be filling him up instead of the food!

Ealdemodor

Alis52
Surely, when you have guests of any age in your house, you would want them to be happy and relaxed, and enjoy themselves.
Most people have dislikes, it is not about being silly, as you put it.

I love this!

My son is on the spectrum and still refuses fruit and vegetables despite being almost 30. However he never catches anything. I eat very healthily and catch it all, colds, stomach bugs etc. It’s annoying! My grandkids (two girls, 6 and 9) used to be terrible eaters, of anything! I used to call them food dodgers. They’re a lot better these days but it used to be a nightmare.

As a child I preferred to drink plain water and that is still true over 65 years later.

Food wise I was strict with DGC on some foods being No because my DD was always giving them too much sugar.

We found that my eldest DGC preferred our porridge, scambled eggs and other dinners and would eat them with no fuss but refused same at the mums.

We involved her in the preparation of food and I agree with other PP's that doing so really does open up children to trying different foods.
Best of all she stopped pushing for junk foods while visiting and I always supplied some chocolate treat for her and her siblings. Just not very much.

I was a fussy eater as a child, and am still quite picky.
My mum used to make a huge deal of it, was always telling people what a problem I was! There was a lot of tension around food.
She wasn’t a bad mum, we had a lot of fun together, but meal times were rarely enjoyable, which is quite sad, I now realise.
Even now, I don’t really enjoy eating with others, fearing comments and judgements on my small appetite.
At least I don’t turn to food for comfort!

My grandson is now 10. When he first went onto solid food he would try anything, some he liked some he didn’t - bit like us really. But as he’s got older he has become much more fussy. He loves all kinds of meat, but eats vegetables as little as possible. He doesn’t even like chips now. He only drinks water, or apple juice as a treat, disliking anything fizzy. However, he is active and well, plays football 3 times a week, does gymnastics and swimming, so I think he must be getting his nutrition from somewhere.

My grandchildren are quite good eaters but they became even better when they were in the Reception Class and the whole class tested different schools. Personally, I think your daughter has the right idea about accepting her sons' choices. If you make an issue out of food, it can become a life long issue. If you make the nicer things a "treat" when they get older and can suit themselves, the tendency is to have treats all the time.
We also have different levels of sensitivity with out taste buds too. What is a "strong" flavour for some, is bland to another. One thing for sure is that the sense of taste changes in intensity as we get older and things we found disgusting as children become more tolerable. Just sit back and wait for things to change.
My daughter went through a stage of only eating ice-cream (softened in the microwave, not less) and I was so anxious about it. The GP just laughed and said things would get better, not to worry. He was right! She doesn't even eat ice-cream any more but eats lots of other things.

Been there too and have the t shirt. I’ve learnt to ignore whether dgd eats or not, she generally eats more that way. I allow her to fill up on fruit and bread and butter. At snack time I sometimes put a variety of small amounts of different foods, including some she doesn’t eat, in a muffin tray. She enjoys the novelty and sometimes eats a new food. I never comment, just add it to the list for next time. My initial instinct was to go down the “if you don’t eat you go hungry” route but I’m glad I learnt better.

I must be the odd one out here as my 4 grand kids will eat anything. Sorry, this is no help to you.

My youngest didn't like eating at all. She would only eat yoghurt, bananas, lamb chops and pasta. I worried so much and when I took her to the doctor he said that she was getting 4 food groups so not to worry. She is now adult, strong and healthy, so don't worry just enjoy that you can spend time time with them - many of us can't.

Alis52
Surely, when you have guests of any age in your house, you would want them to be happy and relaxed, and enjoy themselves.
Most people have dislikes, it is not about being silly, as you put it.

Don't worry about it. It is not as if they are with you full time. When he says he is hungry just give him fruit as you say he eats it. All children go through these phases. I think that giving into them can actually make it worse

I used to make meals a lot of daft fun when mine tried making issues about food. Eg eat under the table, make a picnic, snuggle in front of the fire. Anything to take the stress out. I don’t know if that will help but it did with mine.

My daughter wouldn’t eat when she was small, to the point she would be sick if we tried to hard to encourage her, she nibbled and was quite slim actually very thin until around 10 years old, Dr s said don’t worry she will eat enough…

She’s now 50 ( looks 40) a qualified chef, runs her own restaurants and does talks on healthy eating

DO NOT WORRY …

I gave up the battle in the end as I didn't want my time with them to be spoilt with battles around eating.

If the little ones cook with you they will eat it! I’ve found this to be true. Scones are a good bet. Grate any veg you like plus cheese into the mixture. They love them!

I would not make a big thing of it. Let the kids have what they want to eat. There eating of food will change when they get older..seen this happen with many of my nieces & nephews who now eat healthier. Its upto their parents not you to decide what they eat. If you are so concerned ask the childrens parents if you could give the children a chewy multi vitamin tablet whilst they are with you. Maybe the parents themselves might see that as a good idea and continue themselves to do the same.