Feeding the grandkids. Man cannot live on toast (and cocopops) alone!

It's a pain, faddy eating, my younger son was dreadful, my older child ate everything so I was unprepared for the rejection of so many things which started as I weaned him on to solids and he spat out all the lovingly prepared vegetables and continued to do that. Now he eats a wide variety of foods a lot of Asian fusion, stir fries, enjoys cooking. He asked me to teach him to cook some meals before he went off to university, he didn't show any interest before that. His girlfriend tells me he makes a good lasagna and Asian fishcakes. So he grew out of his dislike of most foodstuffs, bar a handful, as many children do when they become adults.

My grand daughter has gluten intolerance so I have to get the appropriate wheat free products in for her when she comes. My little grandson on the other hand adores fish, broccoli and jacket potato his favourite food in the world he tells me, which is strange a healthy meal, who'd have thought Although I tend to indulge them and got Nutella in at their request, something I refused for my own children, just as well it's delicious I'd have been the one eating it. I also cave in when they ask for chocolate biscuits or something out of the freezer such as a Magnum at in appropriate times.

I used the “ goody plate” this was a beautifully arranged plate of what we called goodies, for example, prawns, cheese, melon, egg, triangles of bread and butter, carrot sticks, egg cups filled with hummus, the possibilities are endless.
I would gradually introduce a new food.
Small amounts of lots of variety really does seem to work.

Cooking with them didn't work for my DD's two. They would happily spend ages with me preparing a meal, might even occasionally accept a tasting on a spoon, but the minute it was served out, refused to touch it! They are a bit better now, I have one DS with two girls who are given the same menu each week, never deviates, eg Wednesday packet chicken risotto, and they refuse to touch anything that isn't one of those 7 meals, and always insist that Mummy's instant one tastes better than mine, even if I cook the same thing!

I think the earlier poster was talking to the children when she said tough, you've had your chance! I think she meant chance to eat, when the children were not eating then returning to say they were hungry.

I dont think it was meant as a negative comment to the original poster!

If I am having the kids only, then I will make meal that I know they like. I have 4 GC and they aren't too fussy, but the regular distrust of anything different. One will eat the tops of broccoli, the other will eat only stems. One likes peas, another loves carrots. I usually do present a well rounded meal and hope for the best, but they have to eat as least some veg in order to get dessert afterwards.

I will usually push for their age in bites. Four years old = 4 bites of veg in order to get dessert afterwards; I don't make too much of a fuss, but they know I mean it.

When I have family dinners I let the dinner discipline up to the parents. I don't cook separate meals, but I usually include at least one thing I know they like. I have a tiny little 5 yr old grandaughter that usually eats like a bird but has a fierce love of mashed potatoes!

Don't let it stress you too much, but also don't cater to their every whim. I've seen some parents/grandparents constantly in the kitchen prepping individual snacks according to each child's likes. It gets tiresome, and the children can be demanding.

Mealtimes are meant to be enjoyed, and a time for sharing of food and conversation.

My son had a throat infection at 4 that left him only wanting to eat spaghetti bolognese and chicken nuggets and chips. At 5 I was determined to get him to eat a proper Christmas dinner. It took putting pieces of meat inside a chip, and asking him to just taste a small amount. Patience worked and he did eat the Christmas Day meal. He’s now 23 and loves Japanese food, he still sniffs food sometimes which is a throwback to a child. Give it time, I’m sure it will improve.

Esspee

Thinking back to when my children were young if they didn’t want to eat a meal I didn’t make a fuss but they weren’t offered anything to eat until the next meal and only drank water. Most of my friends did the same, those who couldn’t bring themselves to do this moaned constantly but always succumbed and their children lived on snacks, fruit juice and milk.
Children won’t starve themselves. You just have to be firm.

Some children will starve themselves. At one stage my 4 year old was told if she lost another pound in the following week she would be in hospital and fed intravenously. Our local bakery used to bake her a special cake every week with lots of butter, eggs and honey. Other than that we found a yogurt she liked.

My GP told me he used to say the same as you, then he had a daughter, ironically she had the same name as my daughter, and he had the same problem. I was so lucky I had a supportive GP. I had 3 other children who were all good eaters.

Blaming parents is nasty.

My grandchildren (10 and 6 1/2) have a limited menu, and there are lots of things they won't even try.

I make spaghetti bolognese (I add mushrooms, peppers, and tinned tomatoes), also a chicken and pasta bake thing they enjoy. I put sweetcorn, peas, chopped green beans in it, with Creme Fraiche.

Mine also like tuna pasta bake, home-made fishcakes, and home-made pizza (extra toppings on)

Thinking back to when my children were young if they didn’t want to eat a meal I didn’t make a fuss but they weren’t offered anything to eat until the next meal and only drank water. Most of my friends did the same, those who couldn’t bring themselves to do this moaned constantly but always succumbed and their children lived on snacks, fruit juice and milk.
Children won’t starve themselves. You just have to be firm.

Grammajules

I have 3 grandsons, a 7 and 4 yr old of one daughter and a 6 yr old with the other. In the holidays and some weekends they all come for a few days and are lovely apart from eating.
The 4 yr old will eat hardly any ‘ proper’ meals at all. By that I mean any veg ( even disguised) or food he is not familiar with. He will not even try it. So he exists on toast, fish fingers, the usual rubbish but does eat fruit. His mum is a good cook and just accepts he is like this. She works full time in a stressful job so I do understand. His brother is a bit better and will at least try new things now.
I know in my day if you didn’t eat it you wouldn’t get treats but he doesn’t seem to care.
Now I am not a formidable gran but it does wear me down and I know he is only 4 and his tastes haven’t matured and I don’t make it a big deal as that will just make it worse but an hour later after not eating his meal he will say I’m hungry…
I don’t want to resort to bribing him, but just looking for any ideas to help him try different things. I just don’t want him eating rubbish all the time he is here. I know grandparents are here to treat them but any experiences or ideas appreciated.

Don't do anything. Give him what he will eat and leave it at that. Honestly this is not your business or your battle.

My son would when growing up would only eat meat, bread butter and cornflakes or Frosties, Hes now 52 runs Ironman races, cycle races and mountain running He still diesng eat vegetables and banana is the only fruit
When his friend used to stay over he only ate fish fingers for each meal I don’t know what happened to him so I can’t comment on his health but I think it’s very common
When my granddaughter was 4 her daddy died and she literally lived on noodles for two years She still likes noodles but has expanded her diet ?

Several of my sons' childhood friends were fussy eaters when they came round for tea. Rather than presenting them with a meat and two veg plateful I offered a buffet type selection of cubes of cheese, rolls of ham, pizza slices, small bunches of grapes, carrot sticks, raisins, pots of yogurt etc. They were happier making their own choices without me standing over them and I got to hoover up the leftovers!

You don’t say whether the parents are staying at the same with the GC. If they are, I’ve solved that issue. They prepare meals for their offspring while I cook for the adults! Even so, it’s very hard to see the huge amount of food that gets thrown away at the end of each meal.

My two oldest GC grew up on the Yellow Diet. They’d eat anything so long as it was on the yellow range of colours. Fish fingers, chicken nuggets, chips, pizza, baked beans, potato waffles, sweet corn.

They’re a bit older now and have branched out, thank goodness. My youngest GC eats just about anything, just loves her food.

My DD grew up on yogurt and marmite sandwiches.

My son was a nightmare. He would only eat ham sandwiches for a couple of years. We tried. Did everything. Then decided M&S ham sandwiched it would be. One day my husband had to go beetling off to Tesco at 10 pm at night. Inadvertently our dog had managed to open the fridge door. All the M&S ham had gone. So Tesco's ham it was. His lunch box came home the next day with a tiny bite out of one of the sandwiches and we were informed it wasn't the right ham. Sighs. Anyway, he's 30 now and loves all sorts of foods so I guess it hasn't caused any long term harm.

I feel your pain....from bitter experience..... but as has been suggested here, getting them involved in preparing the food with you can work. Aprons on, preparing vegetables for soup, stirring and cooking and blending worked for me with 2 very difficult 6 year olds.

Any kind of food preparation fires their imagination. Little savoury pancakes are usually irresistible. Food in very small portions, self-served onto small plates, and no pressure!

Eating at a table is a very good thing, and family meals together should be a pleasure and something that they look forward to. If there's a chance, eating with older children who love their food is a good encouragement to small 'picky' kids. Lots of chat, (not about the food) and they can end up just eating what the others are having because they want to fit in!

Picnic table in the garden, wraps, BBQ'd food on skewers they've done themselves, small items on sticks, cheeses, cold sausages, finger food, hard boiled eggs. Helping themselves. No desserts until some 'proper' food has been consumed and no eating between meals might sound tough but it's better that they're hungry at meal times and not in between if they're poor eaters.

Something they've made - and tried - to take home to Mummy : fishcakes, toad in the hole, savoury tarts where they've lined the little tins with ready rolled pastry shapes and chosen the fillings.

Doctors always say that no small child will deliberately starve himself, but, it's still very depressing to be around a child who doesn't enjoy your food and it certainly knocks our love of nurturing on the head! Persevere, they've possibly got stuck on the same old foods and they're just not interested in trying anything new. Food should be more than fuel and once you've got their attention, they'll probably be eating you out of house and home! ?

Mine are similar ages. When they come to stay I pretty much give them what I know they will eat.( porridge/ yoghurt/ beans/cheese/ fishfingers/ home made chicken goujons/ pizza / pasta Bolognese)
I do insist they have a bit of fruit (not just bananas) and I make them a smoothie which sorts the fruit consumption! They will also eat my soup as they have no idea what I put in it ( sweet potato butternut squash carrot tomato etc). Whenever I start to worry about it I just stop and think they will grow into eating more food at some point.

Oh so with you on this. We have our two staying this weekend aged 3 and 6, I’m already stressing about what we’re going to eat, they seem to be living on ice cream at the moment! Last time they were here they helped me make pancakes, I then put small pieces of strawberries and raspberries on the side the little one only ate the fruit the other one ate half a pancake ? Let us know you get on.

My daughter was the same, I stressed about it and in the end she grew out of being so one dimensional with her food. She went from starting school to leaving school eating Peanut butter sandwiches every day. She's a healthy 6 foot, mother now.

This is so variable! I do know that getting stressed about it makes things worse!

Nothing is guaranteed, some kids are just like that and yes, they do seem to survive to healthy adulthood.
Cooking together helps.
Have 'free' foods for younger kids - basic fruit,veg, bread, some families add in yoghourt or similar. If you don't eat your meal and you are hungry, you can have those things. Be very clear about for instance, do you allow butter on the bread, do you allow other 'bread products'?
Older kids - plan menus together, each family member getting to choose, within guidelines, say once a week. If you don't try foods, or moan, you don't get your choice next week.
Assume that the child will 'grow out of it'. Say things like 'well you don't like X now, but you will when you're older'. This is based on evidence, and is also how many cultures operate.
Pick your battles and go for easy wins.

Sorry, I thought it was meant for me

??

This reply was meant for grannylyn65

Please explain your negative comment or it is meaningless

I remember one grand-daughter, then aged two, wanted her Mummy to play but was told Mummy had to get the tea, so she replied "Granny can get the tea" which was I suppose some sort of compliment.