LIMERICKS 6

He loaded up his clapped out old tractor
while rehearsing his song for X Factor!!!
Too ambitious by far
He's not yet a star

He loaded up his clapped out old tractor
while rehearsing his song for X Factor!!!
Too ambitious by far
Said his weary old Ma

Sorry - didn't see that line!

He loaded up his clapped out old tractor
while rehearsing his song for X Factor!!!
Too ambitious by far
He's not yet a star
He's on Corrie instead of an actor

A man and his dog went to Bangor

A man and his dog went to Bangor
A change from their usual languor

A man and his dog went to Bangor
A change from their usual languor
A beautiful day

A man and his dog went to Bangor
A change from their usual languor
A beautiful day
They had walked all the way

A man and his dog went to Bangor
A change from their usual languor
A beautiful day
They had walked all the way
And left their private jet in the hangar.

My friend has a new cat called Rosie

My friend has a new cat called Rosie
On the mat she looks very cosy

My friend has a new cat called Rosie
and, my oh my, isn't she nosey ?

My friend has a new cat called Rosie
On the mat she looks very cosy
While purring so loud

My friend has a new cat called Rosie
On the mat she looks very cosy
While purring so loud
She attracted a crowd

My friend has a new cat called Rosie
On the mat she looks very cosy
While purring so loud
She attracted a crowd
What she left didn't smell like a posie !

I thought I'd found a real bargain

I thought I'd found a real bargain
An emerald green fluffy cardigan

I thought I'd found a real bargain
An emerald green fluffy cardigan
But the fluffy was naff

I thought I'd found a real bargain
An emerald green fluffy cardigan
But the fluffy was naff
To exchange was a faff

I thought I'd found a real bargain
An emerald green fluffy cardigan
But the fluffy was naff
To exchange was a faff
The assistant was just full of jargon

This Brexit is a neverendum

This Brexit is a neverendum
And now another referendum?

This Brexit is a neverendum
And now another referendum?
I wonder - if we start again

This Brexit is a neverendum
And now another referendum?
I wonder - if we start again
Would it still end in pain

This Brexit is a neverendum
And now another referendum?
I wonder - if we start again
Would it still end in pain
Some common sense we could lend 'em.

I wish I still believed in fairies

I wish I still believed in fairies
I was born under star sign Aries

I wish I still believed in fairies
I was born under star sign Aries,
But my stars aren't aligned

I wish I still believed in fairies
I was born under star sign Aries,
But my stars aren't aligned
So now I'm resigned

I wish I still believed in fairies
I was born under star sign Aries,
But my stars aren't aligned
So now I'm resigned
To coping with however it varies.

Today I noticed the return of the swifts

Today I noticed the return of the swifts
A reminder of Mother Nature"a gifts