Limericks 6

His wife though had quite differing plans
Yearning for a life in camper-vans

His wife though had quite differing plans
Yearning for a life in camper-vans
Round the coastline she'd travel

His wife though had quite differing plans
Yearning for a life in camper-vans
But will her dreams unravel? (Sorry, tricky to rhyme)

His wife though had quite differing plans
Yearning for a life in camper-vans
But will her dreams unravel? (Sorry, tricky to rhyme)
Prevent her urge to travel

His wife though had quite differing plans
Yearning for a life in camper-vans
But will her dreams unravel? (Sorry, tricky to rhyme)
Prevent her urge to travel,
Let's hope she's a pioneering rebel for all Nans!

What a stupid idea to cut pensioners perks

What a stupid idea to cut pensioners' perks.
Just shows you, politicians are really such jerks!

What a stupid idea to cut pensioners' perks.
Just shows you, politicians are really such jerks!
Salaries tax-free plus bonus

What a stupid idea to cut pensioners' perks.
Just shows you, politicians are really such jerks!
Salaries tax-free plus bonus
But they don't jolly well own us!

What a stupid idea to cut pensioners' perks
Just shows you, politicians are really such jerks!
Salaries tax-free plus bonus
But they don't jolly well own us!
'neath our breasts huge resentment therein lurks.

Oh no, Miss Widddecombe's back on the telly

Oh no, Miss Widddecombe's back on the telly
Again we’ll be seeing her belly

Oh no, Miss Widddecombe's back on the telly
Again we’ll be seeing her belly
But Nigel's no Anton du Beke

Oh no, Miss Widddecombe's back on the telly
Again we’ll be seeing her belly
But Nigel's no Anton du Beke
She should wind in her neck

Oh no, Miss Widddecombe's back on the telly
Again we’ll be seeing her belly
But Nigel's no Anton du Beke
She should wind in her neck
And stick to feeding her face in the deli.

But who, out of all these nuts, gets my vote?

But who, out of all these nuts, gets my vote?
Not one of them enables me to dote

But who, out of all these nuts, gets my vote?
Not one of them enables me to dote
Shall I spoil my voting slip?

But who, out of all these nuts, gets my vote?
Not one of them enables me to dote
Shall I spoil my voting slip?
Risk being given a load of lip?

But who, out of all these nuts, gets my vote?
Not one of them enables me to dote
Shall I spoil my voting slip?
Risk being given a load of lip?
Or vote for a wily old stoat?

Whatever we do, we'll be wrong!

Whatever we do, we'll be wrong!
So many MPs leave a nasty pong

Whatever we do, we'll be wrong!
So many MPs leave a nasty pong
So let's give them a fright

Whatever we do, we'll be wrong!
So many MPs leave a nasty pong
So let's give them a fright
We’ll put up a fight

Whatever we do, we'll be wrong!
So many MPs leave a nasty pong
So let's give them a fright
We’ll put up a fight
And they won't be our MPs for long!

So could Boris be our next leader?

So could Boris be our next leader?
I'll leave that one to you, the next reader.

So could Boris be our next leader?
I'll leave that one to you, the next reader
To a certain type he may be appealing

So could Boris be our next leader?
I'll leave that one to you, the next reader
To a certain type he may be appealing
As his manifesto he’s revealing

So could Boris be our next leader?
I'll leave that one to you, the next reader
To a certain type he may be appealing
As his manifesto he’s revealing
Oh no!, let's keep Theresa, we need 'er!

So a pretty young lady from Eccles