Limericks 6

Now that terrible rascal from Ripon
Is even worse with his new hip on
A band leader of a fashion
Deep Purple, that's his passion
Especially with his cool and lacy slip on!

Men's birthdays are so difficult to buy for

Men's birthdays are so difficult to buy for,
"Not socks again" they shout, "I don't need any more!"

Men's birthdays are so difficult to buy for
"Not socks again," they shourt, "I don't need any more!"
I thought a mankini

Men's birthdays are so difficult to buy for
"Not socks again," they shourt, "I don't need any more!"
I thought a mankini
matching my bikini

Men's birthdays are so difficult to buy for
"Not socks again," they shout, "I don't need any more!"
I thought a mankini
matching my bikini
We'll cause a riot as we stroll by the shore.

Plus that exhibitionist from Exmouth

Plus that exhibitionist from Exmouth
So loud mouthed and rather uncouth

Plus that exhibitionist from Exmouth
Goes swimming every day in the buff

Plus that exhibitionist from Exmouth
So loud mouthed and rather uncouth
Says she swam the channel

Plus that exhibitionist from Exmouth
So loud-mouthed and rather uncouth
Says she swam the channel
But that was a load of old flannel

Plus that exhibitionist from Exmouth
So loud-mouthed and rather uncouth
Says she swam the channel
But that was a load of load flannel, she
Goes swimming everyday in the buff.

As we were at 'cross-purposes' that seemed a good way of mixing the two.

Mind you, her brother the lounge lizard in Luton

Mind you, her brother the lounge lizard in Luton
instead of a bed, bought himself a nice futon

Mind you, her brother the lounge lizard in Luton
instead of a bed, bought himself a nice futon
Lying low in style was "his thing"

Mind you, her brother, the lounge lizard in Luton
Instead of a bed, bought himself a nice futon
Lying low in style was 'his thing'
While showing off all his 'bling'

Mind you, her brother, the lounge lizard in Luton
Instead of a bed, bought himself a nice futon
Lying low in style was 'his thing'
While showing off all his 'bling'
In bed he even had his best suit on!

His wife adores diamonds and pearls

His wife adores diamonds and pearls
and fashionable clothes, like most girls

His wife adores diamonds and pearls
and fashionable clothes, like most girls.
Off to the shops she goes

His wife adores diamonds and pearls
and fashionable clothes, like most girls.
Off to the shops she goes
With rings on fingers and toes

His wife adores diamonds and pearls
and fashionable clothes, like most girls.
Off to the shops she goes
With rings on fingers and toes
When she walks she simply just swirls!!

But what of their off spring you ask?

But what of their off spring you ask?
Do they in her glory just bask?

But who of their offspring you ask?
Do they in her glory just bask?
Their parents embarrass them

But what of their offspring you ask?
Do they in her glory just bask?
Their parents embarrass them
Mostly they play dodgem

But what of their offspring you ask?
Do they in their glory just bask?
Their parents embarrass them
Mostly they play dodgem
From a ringside seat, take a flask.

Their uncle, the cheapskate from Chester

Theit uncle, the cheapskate from Chester
Was seeking a wealthy investor

Theit uncle, the cheapskate from Chester
Was seeking a wealthy investor
So he popped in the bank

Their uncle, the cheapskate from Chester
Was seeking a wealthy investor
So he popped in the bank
The low balance made his heart sank