The neighbours are out in the garden today Cutting grass with the mower they bought on Ebay But the blades are too blunt So they took a punt And let the lawn turn to hay.
There once was a hedgehog called Mikey He wanted some trainers from Nike He'd then speed across roads Avoiding all toads And lorries that would stop him being spiky
There once was a hedgehog called Mikey He wanted some trainers from Nike He'd then speed across roads Avoiding all toads But his survival was highly unlikely
A winsome young lady from Crewe Walked down the street, dressed in blue She sashayed and pouted And all of us shouted Where are you going, she hadn't a clue!
Perhaps I will float up to heaven But please, not until I'm hundred and seven There’s still life in me yet So I'll hop on a jet And fly off to Devon with Kevin
Should never have had that glass of wine My antics now are tomorrow's headline I stood on my head Jumped off the bed Now I'm in A&E with a "don't resuscitate" sign.