Limericks 10

There was a young lady of Slough
Who was ever so skilled with a plough
She challenged big Bess
To plough without mess
Her furrows were dead straight, and how!

The rivalry between them was intense

The rivalry between them was intense
They were both on opposing sides of the fence

The rivalry between them was intense
They were both on opposing sides of the fence
The judge shouted 'GO!'

The rivalry between them was intense
They wereboth on opposing sides of the fence
The judge shouted "GO!"
Alas, Bess was too slow

The rivalry between them was intense
They were both on opposing sides of the fence
The judge shouted "GO!"
Alas, Bess was too slow
And Slough Lady's victory was immense.


(Courtesy of Bradfordlass above)
Bessie pulls a great pint in the local

Bessie pulls a great pint in the local
Where she often can get very vocal

Bessie pulls a great pint in the local
Where she often can get very vocal
She says what she feels

Bessie pulls a great pint in the local
Where she often can get very vocal
She says what she feels
Cares not what she deals

Bessie pulls a great pint in the local
Where she often can get very vocal
She says what she feels
Cares not what she deals
Wishing she could get a proposal

A sailor wanted to marry Bessie

A sailor wanted to marry Bessie
"No, on your bike", she cried, "You big Jessie"

A sailor wanted to marry Bessie
"No, on your bike", she cried, "You big Jessie"
So he went back to sea

A sailor wanted to marry Bessie
"No, on your bike", she cried, "You big Jessie"
So he went back to sea
Heartbroken, "why me?"

A sailor wanted to marry Bessie
"No, on your bike", she cried, "You big Jessie"
So he went back to sea
Heartbroken, "why me?"
Why are life and emotions so messy?

His ship next called in Hong Kong,

His ship next called in Hong Kong,
He was hoping he'd find a pretty Miss Wong

His ship next called in Hong Kong
He was hoping he'd find a pretty Miss Wong
However, much to his dismay

His ship next called in Hong Kong
He was hoping he'd find a very pretty Miss Wong
However, much to his dismay
His boat sank in the bay

His ship next called in Hong Kong
He was hoping he'd find a pretty Miss Wong
However, much to his dismay
His boat sank in the bay
He knew he had done something wrong.

The coast guards were there to rescue him

The coast guards were there to rescue him
Thank goodness, because he couldn't swim

The coast guards were there to rescue him
Thank goodness, because he couldn't swim
He floundered about

The coast guards were there to rescue him
Thank goodness, because he couldn't swim
He floundered about,
Swallowed a huge trout

The coast guards were there to rescue him
Thank goodness, because he couldn't swim
He floundered about
Swallowed a huge trout
Sadly, he'd gone out too far on a limb.

So he thought he would stick to dry land

So he thought he would stick to dry land
Start a business where there was demand

So he thought he would stick to dry land
Start a business where there was demand
A ‘chippie’ maybe?

So he thought he would stick to dry land
Start a business where there was demand
A ‘chippie’ maybe?
Estate agency?

So he thought he would stick to dry land
Start a business where there was demand
A ‘chippie’ maybe?
Or Estate agency?