Limericks 10

In my dreams, I've danced with Nureyev
But in real life I’ve just danced with old Trev
I yearn for a twirl with Acosta
The man with the mosta
Perhaps I could do a Grande Jeté with the Rev

It's two in the morning and I can't sleep

It's two in the morning and I can't sleep
And I'm fed up with counting darned sheep

It's two in the morning and I can't sleep
And I'm fed up with counting darned sheep
I’m wide awake too

It's two in the morning and I can't sleep
And I'm fed up with counting sheep
I'm wide awake too
Lack of sleep I shall rue

It's two in the morning and I can't sleep
And I'm fed up with counting sheep
I'm wide awake too
Lack of sleep I shall rue
So I'll lay in a heap using bad language... bleep bleep.

Perhaps tomorrow I may feel brighter

Perhaps tomorrow I may feel brighter
'Specially if the scales show I'm lighter

Perhaps tomorrow I may feel brighter
'Specially if the scales show I'm lighter
Missing buns and treats

Perhaps tomorrow I may feel brighter
'Specially if the scales show I'm lighter
Missing buns and treats
And chocolates and sweets

Perhaps tomorrow I may feel brighter
'Specially if the scales show I'm lighter
Missing buns and treats
And chocolates and sweets
Oh Dam! Trousers are much tighter.

Tom wished he could rule the world

Tom wished he could rule the world
Sceptre and crown ready, banner unfurled

Tom wished he could rule the world
Sceptre and crown ready, banner unfurled
But the world’s in a mess

Tom wished he could rule the world
Sceptre and crown ready, banner unfurled
But the world’s in a mess
Tom said, "that I will address"

Tom wished he could rule the world
Sceptre and crown ready, banner unfurled
But the world’s in a mess
Tom said, "that I will address"
Round his head his ideas whirled.

I made a mistake at work today

I made a mistake at work today
My boss decided to cut my pay

I made a mistake at work today
My boss decided to cut my pay
About it I’m mad

I made a mistake at work today
My boss decided to cut my pay
About it I’m mad
As I wasn't that bad

I made a mistake at work today
My boss decided to cut my pay
About it I’m mad
As I wasn't that bad
All I did was hit him with a tray!

I admit it, the tray was quite heavy

I admit it, the tray was quite heavy
And for lunch I'd had quite a bevvy

I admit it, the tray was quite heavy
And for lunch I'd had quite a bevvy
OK, so I swore

I admit it, the tray was quite heavy
And for lunch I'd had quite a bevvy
OK, so I swore
Does that merit the door?

I admit it, the tray was quite heavy
And for lunch I'd had quite a bevvy
OK, so I swore
Does that merit the door?
“Yes, it certainly does, now”, said he.

But I didn’t get fired right away

But I didn’t get fired right away
It seems he had lots more to say

But I didn’t get fired right away
It seems he had lots more to say
My poor ears were red

But I didn’t get fired right away
It seems he had lots more to say
My poor ears were red
Confronted him about what was said

Crazy - I hope you won't mind me having altered your line slightly.

But I didn’t get fired right away
It seems he had lots more to say
My poor ears were red
We discussed what was said
In my job I can now happily stay

I'm so tired of relentless rain