The Alphabet Bar ( all welcome!)

Please put them in the bin Doodle, they look absolutely revolting. soop will have to make some more. But where will we get sausages from now? None in the supermarkets. What can we use as a substitute?

Quite a conundrum chewy. ?. Got anything fatty going spare at the sewage works?

Ridiculous question Doodle, of course we have! I've been digging out this little fella for the past 3 weeks, would you like me to slice you a lump off and bring it home?

Sausage rolls here we come. Actually I’ve had a brilliant idea we can sell them at the bar and call them sewage rolls. They’ll go down a treat. .........? oh...I forgot....we’re not at the Argy any more. This posh lot won’t eat them ?

Turnip quiche on the menu tonight.....yum.Toasted tomatoes on the side.
Telstar on the jukebox, great stuff.

U needn’t bother Chewy..... fatbergs will not be served in this bar!

Very well but I think I’d prefer a fat burger to a turnip quiche any day lemon. Fancy setting up a takeaway service out back chewy ? ?

Well.......there is already a ‘service’ ( of sorts) going on out the back by Chewy ( am too ladylike to name it.)?

X rated it is.?

You’re not suggesting she’s............ ? no. Really lemon?

Zeeeeze is outrageous! I was desperately trying to find a z word, sorry!
How very dare you sully my immaculate reputation! Just because I wanted to put your head in a freezer Doodle, you're being mean to me now!

Zzzzzzzz many customers go to sleep out there, as Chewy has a hypnotic effect on them.
Her service consists of readings from racy Jilly Cooper novels whilst wearing her tight PVC outfits, it costs ten bob for fifteen minutes and is daylight ( or evening) robbery.
Zed beds are provided for punters to doze on.

An apperitif anyone??

Bloomin' Nora, what a day I've had in that Maths classroom.

Blighters are for it tomorrow, when I get them.?

Believe it or not, someone put a pupil's head in the freezer.

Bacardi and Coke please!

Ccccccccc an I cccccccome out now Miss I’m ffffffffreeeezzzzzing. ?

chewy I thought lemon meant you were outside performing a public service, like er.......... picking up litter ?

Doodle! You look frozen! Oooh, that's because you were! ❄☃️

Good day gorgeous, gang who gravitate here every day. Gravitas gradually growing grimmer as we approach post 844.
This is my most sensible post ever. Grrr. Rather be groovy.
Howzat * Lemon*?

Irn Bru on the rocks...shaken...not stirred. Classy enough for you discerning lot? Wish I'd thought to screw the top of the shaker firmly. Carillion appears to caught the frothy blast. Most unbecoming.

Just jealous soop !!! The frothy blast was juicy, so there!

?? I'm getting a vocab migraine now.....I'm seeing psychedelic colours like the ones I saw when I was an apprentice in the Arg..... the place that has no name... mentored by the identical twins Chewbacca and Doodle

Knew the place well, Carillion. Was thrown out on more than one occasion. I think that it was after a boozy night testing that potent poteen in the cellar.

Love the James Bond impersonation soop. My name is soop James soop ?.

Mention of the place that must not be mentioned makes my legs tremble with desire. How I long to down a pint of glorious poteen and then forget about everything for a day.......or two......or three..... How about it chewy do you miss “the old place” ?

Sob, sob, weep, weep ? he dumped me! You know, that sexy copper. He whisked me off my feet and now has found himself a newer, younger model. Rat!
I need a strong drink, turn the music up and let's party!!

Now look what he's done to me!!! Sure as hell he's made me lose the plot. I'm not letting him get away with that, I'm gonna dance that man out of my hair!

Oh cherry don’t waste your tears on him. Don’t tell anyone ? but I heard he’d been with chewy before you.....and soop ........and lemon...... Come to think of it I might have ............ ?

Pina coladas all round Doodle. No man is going to get me down too long, now what's that I hear on the jukebox?