Versatile Verse 2

I have to do something, desperate measures are called for
A gastric band or a wired-up jaw

Write it down and keep counting
Stop the dress sizes from keep on mounting

I have to do something, desperate measures are called for

I

Never seems to work for me
I wolf down every last calorie

Write it down and keep counting

I seem to be always on a diet
Whatever goes, I'll try it.

Never seems to work for me

But I still enjoy a good fish and chips
Tastes wonderful but so bad for my hips.

I seem to be always on a diet

I'll stick to my dishes, tried and tested
My apple pie just can't be bested

But I still enjoy a good fish and chips

Perhaps it's too late now for cookery classes
In any case, I'm not cooking for the masses.

I'll stick to my dishes, tried and tested

You may even end up on Great British Bake off
Not with my cooking, they all would scoff

Perhaps it's too late now for cookery classes

Go with the flow and see what you can concoct
Maybe your culinary juices will be unlocked

You may even end up on Great British Bake Off

I'm not a fan of food that's tame and bland
Like to cook with anything spicy lurking at hand

Go with the flow and see what you can concoct

I can also be persuaded to try a few things savoury
Provided they are spicy and sumptously flavoury.

I'm not a fan of food that's tame and bland

I like my little luxuries and I’m not averse to treats
Chocolate and confectionery, all sorts of sweetmeats

I can also be persuaded to try a few things savoury

I like not A like

But sitting by the river in all weathers is not for me
I rather go to a good hotel for afternoon tea

A like my little luxuries and I'm not averse to treats

He'd better bring home a nice fat trout
If not I might produce a pout

But sitting by the river in all weathers is not for me

Oh woe I am a fishing widow
Where the devil did that man go?

He'd better bring home a nice fat trout

With a man who called Heathcliffe
Smoking a cheroot or is it a spliff.

Oh woe I am a fishing widow

Who would think he’d take on an Alsatian
Very effectively, like a military operation!

Next he’ll be taking on all comers

He's a cute little bundle of happiness and joy
Easily pleased with his chew-able toy

Who would think he'd take on an Alsatian

It must come down to very good breeding
When it comes to the winner Fido's always leading.

He's a cute little bundle of happiness and joy

Sorry, posted the wrong verse there!!

He can beat bigger dogs by a mile
My Jack Russell makes everyone smile

He’s a little dog who thinks he’s a giant

His athletic jumps are a joy to behold
In doggy Olympics he’d definitely win gold

It must come down to very good breeding

He yaps at them, they bolt so far
But his enjoyment they cannot mar

His athletic jumps are a joy to behold

He can beat bigger dogs by a mile
His fearlessness always makes me smile.

He yaps at them, they bolt so far