Versatile Verse 2

My breakfast will be kiwi with a handful of nuts
Then off to the putting green to practise my putts

My golf swing is poor so I need to keep at it

Shan’t need to buy a panty girdle
I’ll get back to exercise, no time to dawdle

My breakfasts will be sliced kiwi with a handful of nuts

Then follow it up with a dark chocolate mousse
Good job my clothes are all rather loose

Shan’t need to buy a panty girdle

But at the weekend I'm back on the chips
With plenty of ketchup and mayonnaise dips

Then follow it up with a dark chocolate mousse

Tomorrow its salad with lightly grilled fish
Following up with a fruit salad dish

But at the weekend I'm back on the chips

Oh dear it's all gone pear shaped, I'll begin again tomorrow
I'm as greedy as an old pig, to my sorrow,

Tomorrow it's salad with lightly grilled fish

It'll certainly help to improve my mood
I'll add a gin and tonic to enhance the food

Oh dear it's all gone pear shaped, I'll begin again tomorrow

I have a plan to smuggle in Magners’ sweet cider
My mate will parachute it down from his glider

It’ll certainly help to improve my mood

The idea of drinking their concoctions
I’m thinking of finding some other options

I have a plan to smuggle in Magners’ sweet cider

I'm hoping they won't be too restrictive
I need more than salad to live

The idea of drinking their concoctions

But here at the health farm I’ll just do as I’m told
Obeying their rules I’ll be good as gold

I’m hoping they won’t be too restrictive

I hope it's a nice big juicy melon
When I cheat at diets I feel like a felon

But here at the health farm I'll just do as I'm told

I'm going alone to a health farm treat
But when I get there what will I eat??

I hope it's a nice big juicy melon

But I’ll trip her up one day soon
I won the lottery at the end of June

I’m going alone to a health farm retreat

Her scintillating wit I just can’t match,
And she's always right, there's the catch

But I'll trip her up one day soon

I’m her friend of choice I make her look slimmer
Not only that, she makes me look dimmer!

Her scintillating wit I just can’t match

Thanks Puzzler for filling in the blanks - senior moment!!

I'm full of good intentions but the will power ends up weak
Why oh why can't I look like my friend Diane Deeke

I'm her friend of choice, I make her look slimmer

When It's Friday can I resist a fish 'n' chips?
Probably not, it sure shows on my hips

I'm full of good intentions but the will power ends up weak

Better than looking like a butternut squash
My intentions are good but they’re all awash

When it’s Friday can I resist a fish ‘n’ chips?

Rather a figure like Mia Farrow
Only larger, more like a marrow!

Better than looking like a butternut squash

Oh to be like Jessica Rabbit
Instead of a loaded cheese rarebit

Rather a figure like Mia Farrow

Shall I still diet, or have a huge ice cream?
An hour glass figure is my ultimate dream

Oh to be like Jessica Rabbit

Over an unsweetened lemon sorbet
Before going on holiday to lovely Torbay,

Shall I still diet, or have a huge ice cream?

I’ll make a fruit coulis, sugar free of course
And I’ll water it down so that it pours

Over an unsweetened lemon sorbet

Next something tasty that will follow Boris’s health plan
I think half a melon, arranged in a fan,

I’ll make a fruit coulis, sugar free of course