EVEN MORE VERSATILE VERSE !

But all I can find is lots of repeats
Nothing which could keep us all glued to our seats

A really good book might be more entertaining

A really good book might be more entertaining
That's what I will do whenever it's raining

But while it is fine it's a shame to ignore it

A really good book might be more entertaining
But that needs a lot more concentrating.

Television has killed my literary skills

Television has killed my literary skills
We'd better get it back as we need to write our wills

Got to leave our affairs in good order

Got to leave our affairs in good order
Shouldn't leave our family in a lot of bother.

Many of us are reaching that age

Many of us are reaching that age
We need to anticipate leaving life's stage

But I'm not one to be morbid

But I'm not one to be morbid
Unlike my cousin and my friend Sid

He's the type whose glass is often half empty

He's the type whose glass is often half empty
He never admits that really he's got plenty.

In fact, he's rich so I might send a friendly text

In fact he’s rich so I might send a friendly text
Hope he’s amenable and not too vexed

With my rather forward approach

With my rather forward approach
I will have to make sure I don't seem to encroach

I'll see if a smile and a joke will impress

I'll see if a smile and a joke will impress
And I shall wear my best Sunday dress.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained

Nothing ventured, nothing gained
I must appear natural, not too strained.

So, relax and smile and try not to flirt

So, relax and smile and try not to flirt
Dont try to show your legs with a short mini skirt.

He'll think you're 'easy', and that's not good

He’ll think you’re easy and that’s not good
You don’t want to be misunderstood

You can’t be both a virgin AND flighty

You can't be both a virgin AND flighty
Some will say you're offending the Almighty

A little decorum will not go amiss

A little decorum will not go amiss
That's what my Headmistess said, dear old Miss Priss

All things in moderation girls was her constant refrain

All things in moderation girls was her constant refrain
So I moderately enjoyed drink, boys, sex, again and again!

But I have now seen the error of my ways

But I have now seen the error of my ways
Gone teetotal and tightened up my stays

In fact, I am almost a virgin reborn!

In fact, I am almost a virgin reborn!
I wouldn't stoop to encouraging porn

My morals are whiter than white, and so pure

My morals are whiter than white, and so pure
But I wonder if I’m losing my former allure?

I need to find some balance in my life

I need to find some balance in my life
a bit more excitement and a lot less strife

Discover hidden talents and have 10 minutes of fame

Discover hidden talents and have 10 minutes of fame
Although once, when I tried crochet, I really was quite lame

I can’t knit, can’t sew can’t even bake a cake!

I can’t knit, can’t sew can’t even bake a cake!
My grass looks like it needs a good rake

I have no talent for anything at all

I have no talent for anything at all
But in spite of that I'm having a ball

Out partying almost every night

Out partying almost every night
Sod the lockdown- it’s my right!

Dont care if I’m named & shamed