EVEN MORE VERSATILE VERSE !

But my glass is half full and I hope for the best
I’ll find new hobbies, and in between I’ll rest

I’ve spent hours in my garden, it’s looking a treat

I’ve spent hours in my garden, it’s looking a treat
But it's very hard work and now I feel beat.

I think I need a holiday in the sun

I think I need a holiday in the sun
I can’t be forever living like a nun

I want a passionate holiday romance

I want a passionate holiday romance
With a George Clooney lookalike - any chance?

It’s high time I was wined and dined

It’s high time I was wined and dined
By somebody loving and very refined

And it would help if he had a few bob

And it would help if he had a few bob
Not one who behaved like a slob

I like a smartly dressed man who's polite

I like a smartly dressed man who's polite
Sophisticated by day and sexy at night.

But I reckon they're as rare as hen's teeth

But I reckon they’re as rare as hen’s teeth
I want one who buys me flowers, not steals me a wreath

My mother always said the quiet ones are the worst

My mother always said the quiet ones are the worst
And she was right - I must be cursed

All my beaus have been the strong silent type

All my beaus have been the strong silent type
But maybe that's better than one full of hype

Mind you, I don't really trust any of them

Mind you, I don't really trust any of them
Except my Dad, he was a gem

Love them and leave them is my motto

Love them and leave them is my motto
Feed them a dish of poisoned risotto

Not everyone’s as bad as my ex

Not everyone’s as bad as my ex,
I don’t wish to label people because of their sex,

But a rotter is rotten right through to the core.

But a rotter is rotten right through to the core.
I’ve had 3 husbands, don’t want any more

Harder to choose now we all wear a mask

Harder to choose now we all wear a mask
And if not, we’re taken to task

It’s perceived as our civic duty

It’s perceived as our civic duty
But I want to show off my beauty

How can I do that if I'm covered up?

How can I do that if I'm covered up?
Surely they'd like to see my G Cup

Hmm...G cup? Wishful thinking, I'm only a 'C'

Hmm... G cup? Wishful thinking, I’m only a C,
More than an egg cup but less than a tea.

I’ve never been well endowed in the bosom department

Hmm... G cup? Wishful thinking, I’m only a C,
More than an egg cup but less than a tea.

I’ve never been well endowed in the bosom department
I’ve got what you’d call a small escarpment?

You should see my legs though shapely and long

You should see my legs though shapely and long
Are very hairy - I look like King Kong!

Off to the salon for a darn good waxing

Off to the salon for a darn good waxing
It makes me scream, so painful and taxing,

But worth it to have skin like a baby

Off to the salon for a darn good waxing
It makes me scream, so painful and taxing,

But worth it to have skin like a baby
Never say never. Just say maybe.

Now I look glam I might venture out

Now I look glam I might venture out
Perhaps I’ll meet a modelling talent scout

He’ll sign me up to wear hold-ups and stockings

I’m going to change the last line as it seems to have brought the thread to a halt .......

He’ll sign me up to wear stockings and a girdle

He’ll sign me up to wear stockings and a girdle
Which is no good for jumping a hurdle