Old proverbs made funny

He who pays the piper ends up out of pocket.

As one door closes another slams in your face !

Honesty is the best policy, unless you're trying to get way with something!

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless the other side is the beach!

Every dog has his day and the bitch has two (or too )

The early bird catches the worm, which is a good reason to sleep late

Many a true word has caused a great deal of offence.

Walk a mile in someone else's shoes and you'll have a blister after only a few yards!

Too many cooks become television personalities

a bird in the bush is usually out dogging

Dont ignore the people you see on your way up,
Because they will shake the ladder to bring your down with a bump

He who laughs last usually makes himself unpopular.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because there was no bridge.

May7, I'd heard the wee/wind one a few times years ago.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an orange is 5x better!

See a pin and pick it up but don't put it in your pocket as it'll prick you.

See a penny, pick it up, next stop is the beggars cup!

In Liverpool we used to say that:-

A friend in need is a bloody nuisance.

If you cant see the wood for the trees you need glasses

A bird in the hand may be worth two in the bush but who wants birdshit on their fingers

Snitches get stitches and end up on crutches

Don't put all your eggs in the closet with your Nikes

The wicked run when there is no one chasing them.

Right, there’s that then.

She is clothed with strength and dignity

And she laughs without fear of the future

Poor thing is in denial......

What’s done is done

Oh wait, I didn’t press send, phew!

See a pin and pick it up
And all day long you’ll have a pin!

Thank you MawB

I like your style May7

You have to pick your battles

Followed by nope that's too many battles put some back

I posted this thread under Games
because being a new poster "I've lurked for quite a while" this seemed like the nicest place to post. Ok so technically it's not a Game but you have to pick your battles.

These are so funny. I can't think of any others.

I can think of a few Sod's Laws :
Why does the phone ring as soon as you are in the loo or at a funeral ?

My father used to say " A friend in need is a pest , get rid of him !"

How about
Walk a mile In someone's shoes before you criticize them
That way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes