Old proverbs made funny

“Where there’s a will, there’s a relative” ?

Too many cooks leave YOU to do the washing up

Cast thy bread upon the waters - and it'll go soggy and sink.....

A bird in the hand is usually dead.

A stitch in nine is a late night.

So my late grandad always used to say
"Never wee into the wind
You'll always get your own back"

No sure if this is based on a real proverb or one he just thought of.

Used to make us grandchildren laugh though

Actions speak louder than words but sometimes words are more satisfying.

All work and no play sends Jack to an early grave..

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. An onion a day keeps everyone away.

Grandma2213 My Mum used to say, 'An apple a day keeps the doctor away - if you throw it straight.'

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

A friend in need --- is a pain in the arse!

See a pin and pick it up, the rest of the day you’ll be pricking your finger on it in your pocket.

As one door closes - another opens and smacks you right in the teeth !
(First read this as a quote from Tommy Docherty when he got sacked from one of his football managerships.)

Not exactly a proverb but this has been going round in my head all day!
I beg your pardon Mrs. Arden
There's a rabbit in your garden.
If you don't get him out
He'll eat a brussels sprout.

How about
Walk a mile In someone's shoes before you criticize them
That way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes

My father used to say " A friend in need is a pest , get rid of him !"

These are so funny. I can't think of any others.

I can think of a few Sod's Laws :
Why does the phone ring as soon as you are in the loo or at a funeral ?

You have to pick your battles

Followed by nope that's too many battles put some back

I posted this thread under Games
because being a new poster "I've lurked for quite a while" this seemed like the nicest place to post. Ok so technically it's not a Game but you have to pick your battles.

I like your style May7

Thank you MawB

See a pin and pick it up
And all day long you’ll have a pin!

What’s done is done

Oh wait, I didn’t press send, phew!

She is clothed with strength and dignity

And she laughs without fear of the future

Poor thing is in denial......

The wicked run when there is no one chasing them.

Right, there’s that then.