Limericks 14

My neighbour has just bought a bloodhound,
When it howls it's a blood curdling sound,
Ensures a six foot distance,
And at my insistence,
It keeps all four feet on the ground.

I'm thinking of starting decluttering,

I'm thinking of starting decluttering,
I’ve tried but I end up just muttering

I'm thinking of starting decluttering,
I’ve tried but I end up just muttering
And I've no black bags

I'm thinking of starting decluttering,
I’ve tried but I end up just muttering
And I've no black bags
But got plenty of rags

I'm thinking of starting decluttering,
I've tried but I end up just muttering,
And I've no black bags,
But got plenty of rags,
My efforts just seem to be stuttering.

There was a young man from the west,

There was a young man from the west,
Who went out in his Sunday best

There was a young man from the west,
Who went out in his Sunday best
The girls got excited

There was young man from the west,
Who went out in his Sunday best,
The girls for excited,
Their passions ignited,

There was a young man from the west
Who went out in his Sunday best
The girls got excited
Their passions ignited
For under his shirt he wore a string vest.

Meanwhile his friend, a misery-guts from Hove

Meanwhile his friend, a misery bits from Hove,
Put several sausages on the stove,

Don't you just hate auto fill? Grrr! Twice it's done it to me ?

current situation is enough to turn anyone's bits to misery!

Meanwhile his friend, a misery-guts from Hove,
Put several sausages on the stove,
"They'll last me a while"

Meanwhile his friend, a misery guts from Hove,
Put several sausages on the stove,
"They`ll last me a while"
He said with a smile,

I shall stand back and admire my trove.

Txq... Next start line, please!

Shall we make a new start?

I'm watching far too much telly

I'm watching far too much telly
And gorging on food from the local Deli

I'm watching far too much telly
And gorging on food from the local Deli
I'm twenty stone now

I'm watching far too much telly
And gorging on food from the local Deli
I'm twenty stone now
Look like a Highland cow

I'm watching far too much telly
And gorging on food from the local Deli
I'm twenty stone now
Look like a Highland cow
And oh dear I now have such a belly.

An out of work cobbler from Rhyll

An out of work cobbler from Rhyll
Decided he'd had his fill

An out of work cobbler from Rhyll,
Decided he'd had his fill,
He got on his bike,

An out of work cobbler from Rhyll,
Decided he'd had his fill,
He got on his bike,
Then went for a hike

An out of work cobbler from Rhyll,
Decided he'd had his fill,
He got on his bike,
Then went for a hike
And ended up in Llanpwll!

There was a young poet of Brum

That recites whilst beating his drum