Wednesday (Is it Wednesday?): Wittering Miss MaryDoll’s Welcoming, Warm and Witty, Weekday Maths Class.

Ooh Miss done be avin no resd, the niw girl is gonna put us thru our spaces....we avent coverd that in the crikulum yet ave we?

Oooh Charleygirl yoo sound even skaryer than Miss. I fink I neeed a nowt from my Mum two say i not welll.

I dun my air Pants and ...... itz very ? orringe.
I lef it on 2 long while I was finkin bout the puzzel that Miss sez I got rong. I av’ to twy agin.

Ooh deer! Miss done lyk orinj - you’ll be on the norty stwl with Doodle! Where is Doodle eniway? Ope she’s not plain trwant agen - er mum will be find zillions of monees?

I dont fink I have enuff fingers for this sum

We dont wanna be employable Charleygirl
Wot are you finking?

Atz zakly wot I sed Cally - wy on urf wud we wont to bee emploid? I lik cummin to skul, itz mutch mor fun than been a werkpursan.

Cor Charleygirl sowns a bit strik! I ope the Hed duzzent say she kan bee the nyoo sistant! I fink sheed stop awl our sheenanniguns fun

Charleygirl, we are scary, aren't we?

Right first things first.
Please read the whole question. Read it again and think about what it actually says. The answer, as previously stated in the OP, is NOT 8.
No-one knows why the student only wears shirts, but take it from me, he doesn't wear T shirts, I have it on good authority.
There will be no lateral thinking or thinking outside of the box on my watch.
Is that scary enough, Charleygirl ?

Now for the clever girls' awards.

CraftyGranny, ? May51 ?, Bathsheba? and silverlining (another new pupil, welcome) ?.
Well done!

Oh I'm away for a lie down, being scary is exhausting!

Ohno, i got it rong I fink we shud cut the sleevs off the shirts then they wont neeed the lorndry. So thayr!

Seriously?? A student wearing clean shirts all the time and using a laundry?
Glad we don't have to calculate the probability of that happening.

Ps, sorry for spelling things right, I can't help it.

Marydoll I obviously understand what you are saying but this lot will not know what you mean by "thinking outside the box". I did not realise education had slipped so low.

These girls do not want to work- that will be another generation who are relying on you and I to work and keep them. I do not know who will pay our pension when we retire in approximately 30 years from now.

Please rest and I will sort these girls out- you may well have a reduced number in the class tomorrow- mainly because I will be concentrating on their English (or lack of).

They really are not keen to learn are they? It has to be the fault of their parents- too willing to write a note if the child's life becomes difficult and they want to be excused. It was not like that in our day.

Please look after yourself, I am here to lighten the load.

Welcome FarNorth and a breath of fresh air in our class. My brain hurts, trying to read what those disruptive pupils have written.
For you! ?

Squiffy for you too! ?

A warm welcome to all the new classmates, it's lovely to see you joining in the spirit of things..

Thank you, Miss.
(preen, preen)

Thank you Miss ? Pleeez downt leev that Charley in charj, she be Proppa Skaree ? I fink clarsis wil beee verree small if shees in charj ?

? oh no - we as bin syrvd notiss! She’s gonna be raisin stannards of our inglish - as if we wozn alreddee perfick!

An she wans to make us pliable an we can do anstans an cartweels alreddee?‍♂️. I no coz I’ve got my Jim Monitor baj!

Charleygirl, thank you for your offer of support.
However, I have had to organise counselling for my girls, as they have been severely traumatised by the fact that someone is expecting them to do a day's work. School is a place where you can mess about all day and keep the swots off their work, while speaking gibberish.

At the moment I'm with them in the sensory room, trying to restore some equilibrium. I am failing badly.

Morning Miss sowy iz lat I bin elpin unpak the shopin.
Ello to all v knew poopils. Nise to av yous wiv us.
Ello to al my frens too.
Miss charley I be a bit scarded of yous. ? Wez not so bad coz iz weally bewy difkult to rite lik dis so dat uvers can weed it. pants is sue perb at rittin fings wot is so funny. Wez joying our selves. Ples don put us in tention.
I goin to du my sum know.?

Thanks for the nice red apple. I haven't had a real one for ages not since we finished the store of garden apples from two trees in mid January!!

Doodle you have every right to be scared of me- there would be no more messing around and just because you have no interest in earning any money it does not mean that the swots cannot pass their exams with help.

Marydoll is really too kind and I think you would only appreciate her if I was in charge for a whole day. She has so much patience for you lot I am actually left in admiration.

We would stay clear of maths but concentrate on English, Latin, French and Spanish.

Miss I fown sum quillbrum in the Sentry Room wud you lyk summa mine? ?‍♀️

I done no how you gonna orgynis get the Council to fiks us coz we is sveelee dramatisd - praps we need pensayshun? ?

Gulp! ? ooh. But I av dun my sums. charley we don just pla we does skul wk to.

Pssst? evywun I got a seecwit. I woz lisning at v keeole walkin pas an I erd Miss say iz her birfday tomowow. Wot kan we does. pants get yous finking cap on. ?

Crikey just lookd in again. Eek If miss is going to have an ass istant they'll be no larking about at the back of class girls or 100 lines (or even worst sums) for you.
I'm teaching from home at the moment but am no where near as scary as Miss or her new ass instant ?

Puzzler, you are back in my good books. I admire your determination, so for you, ? and a treat ?for not giving up.

Charleygirl5 I sinseerlee hope yoo hav a tung in yoor cheek.
I’m hid in’ under a desk holding’ me breth til yoo reply 2 me?

And I twied 3 times to get the maths answr. I dun think I will be getin an ?. I fink I gave Miss a eadake. Sorry Miss.