Limericks 15

My garden was glad of the rain
Me too, 'cos watering's such a pain
The lawn is all soggy
Squelch and boggy
It really does drive me insane .

I went to the shops yesterday

I went to the shops yesterday
Oh dear, lost my card, couldn't pay

I went to the shops yesterday
Oh dear, lost my card, couldn't pay
I felt such a chump

I went to the shops yesterday
Oh dear, lost my card, couldn't pay
I felt such a chump
Phoned the bank in a hump

Who replaced it without delay

Whilst watering plants in the sun
I thought I am not having fun
The hosepipe is kinked

Whilst watering plants in the sun
I thought I am not having fun
The hosepipe is kinked
To my kitchen it’s linked

Whilst watering plants in the sun
I thought I am not having fun
The hosepipe is kinked
To my kitchen it’s linked
The connector has just come undone!

Water's knee deep in the kitchen

Oh dear, I forgot to add the few rules we have.
The rules of play for very welcome new players.

We each add just one line each in turn
AABBA Format

Water's knee deep in the kitchen

Water's knee deep in the kitchen
Quickly, we'll all have to pitch in

Water's knee deep in the kitchen
Quickly, we'll all have to pitch in
My wellies are on

Water's knee deep in the kitchen
Quickly, we'll all have to pitch in
My wellies are on
My partner has gone

Water's knee deep in the kitchen
Quickly, we'll all have to pitch in
My wellies are on
My partner has gone
He’s gone back to his wife in Hitchen

I’ve now got a wet kitchen to see to

I’ve now got a wet kitchen to see to
The stopcock is out in the lean to

I’ve now got a wet kitchen to see to
I’m cross that there’s so much to do

Oops, I was too slow!

I’ve now got a wet kitchen to see to
The stopcock is out in the lean to
It's covered in clutter

I’ve now got a wet kitchen to see to
The stopcock is out in the lean to
It's covered in clutter
'Can't find it', I mutter

I’ve now got a wet kitchen to see to
The stopcock is out in the lean to
It's covered in clutter
'Can't find it', I mutter
Must admit I'm not very keen to.

I'd rather get on the phone to the plumber

I'd rather get on the phone to the plumber
As the situation is a bit of a bummer

I'd rather get on the phone to the plumber
As the situation is a bit of a bummer
He's coming ,thank goodness

I'd rather get on the phone to the plumber
As the situation is a bit of a bummer
He's coming,thank goodness
He’ll do what he should, yes,

I'd rather get on the phone to the plumber
As the situation is a bit of a bummer
He's coming,thank goodness
He’ll do what he should, yes,
It’s sadly been one hell of a summer

With kitchen flooded and partner gone

With kitchen flooded and partner gone
I'm feeling rather put-upon

With kitchen flooded and partner gone
I'm feeling rather put-upon
I need a large gin