Versatile Verse 3

Reading books is not what he has in mind
So he's wearing all the aftershave he can find

And thinks that will help with his amorous intentions

And thinks that will help with his amorous intentions
Staving off all those apprehensions

That maybe he’s lacking a certain je ne sais quoi

That maybe he’s lacking a certain je ne sais quoi
Perhaps borrow some from his pal Christian Lacroix

He applied for a place in a finishing school

he applied for a place in a finishing school
but he wasn't going to follow any rule

The school was in Switzerland, he could ski on the slopes

The school was in Switzerland, he could ski on the slopes
Maybe he’d meet a real life Heidi? He had high hopes.

He learned to yodel a romantic tune

He learned to yodel a romantic tune
Sounded like Frank Ifield and I wasn’t immune

To his melodic attempts at seduction

To his melodic attempts at seduction
though some thought the sound was a bit of a ruction

I'd rather be seranaded with a classical guitar

I'd rather be seranaded with a classical guitar
On a moonlit beach, under a star

We’d lie on the sand , look up at the sky

We’d lie on the sand , look up at the sky
Then he'd run off and wave goodbye

I'm just not lucky when it comes to men

I’m just not lucky when it comes to men
I’ve looked far and wide, from the Fens to a Glen.

I’d be happy to live in a Croft in the Highlands

I’d be happy to live in a Croft in the Highlands
With my cats and my dogs and my beautiful Rhode Islands

I want to get away from this greedy rat race

I want to get away from this greedy rat race
I know what you mean, I just can't take the pace

So many in a hurry and wanting more

So many in a hurry and wanting more
It's dog eat dog and pity the poor

If you haven't got a penny then it's just hard luck

If you haven't got a penny then it's just hard luck
But with a fair wind you won’t be stuck

Just show a bit of old fashioned gumption!

Just show a bit of old fashioned gumption
Standing shoulder to shoulder will be our salvation.

I admire Lou Macari and his homeless Shelter

I admire Lou Macari and his homeless Shelter
And I like sliding down an Helter Skelter,

But not today, it's raining cats and dogs

But not today, it's raining cats and dogs
I need some warmth, a big fire with logs

but Spring is here and soon it will be Summer

but Spring is here and soon it will be Summer
Although I need to keep my windows shut as my neighbour's a drummer

He thinks he's Ringo, but he really is not

He thinks he's Ringo, but he really is not
Acting the fool - he’s such a clot!

Should’ve stuck with his air guitar k

Should’ve stuck with his air guitar
There was no way he could be a star

But he kept dreaming of the day

But he kept dreaming of the day
he would be famous and earn big pay

His neighbours dreamt of hiding his drum kit

His neighbours dreamt of hiding his drum kit
Or taking it out for use in the fire pit

But, sadly ,that is not allowed

But sadly that is not allowed
He dreams of playing it to a crowd

Perhaps he’ll get to Glastonbury?

Perhaps he’ll get to Glastonbury?
Making his way by train from Surrey

He can pick up his ticket from Godalming station

He can pick up his ticket from Godalming station
He trudged but did not reach his destination

Disappointed was he, but reacted with glee