Versatile Verse 3

Disappointed was he, but reacted with glee
He'd gone too far south and had now reached the sea

Off with his socks and straight in for a paddle

Off with his socks and straight in for a paddle
A big wave came and he stood up to straddle

But it knocked him over and he nearly drowned

But it knocked him over and he nearly drowned
A surfer picked him up - he was well browned

“You know this is not your local paddling pond”

But it knocked him over and he nearly drowned
Should’ve paid more attention at the Outward Bound

Course he’d been on at the Training College

Too slow......

“You know this is not your local paddling pond”
He was gurgling the water @nd couldn’t respond

Otherwise he’d make his apologies profuse

Otherwise he’d make his apologies profuse
A good lad he was, not prone to abuse

The outward bound course was no help to him

The outward bound course was no help to him
He needed to get fit first and start with the gym

So he arranged for some help from a personal trainer

So he arranged for some help from a personal trainer
Who laid it on the line, it couldn’t be plainer

He’d never end up like Arnold Schwarzenegger

He’d never end up like Arnold Schwarzenegger
Nor on the streets like an unfortunate beggar.

But if he did he could fight off attackers

But if he did he could fight off attackers
He’ll carry with him a set of nutcrackers

That should scare all, Arnold included

That should scare all, Arnold included
Although I suspect he's really rather deluded

He's still a wimp and lacking in brawn

He's still a wimp and lacking in brawn
I hear he gets up at the crack of dawn

His muscles are sagging, six pack no more

His muscles are sagging, six pack no more
He no longer does press ups down on the floor

He's content with a walk round the park with the dog

He's content with a walk round the park with the dog
And when he's tired he falls asleep on a log

Sometimes other dogs think he's a peeing post

Sometimes other dogs think he's a peeing post
And compete to see who can use it the most

It means he smells like a baby’s nappy

It means he smells like a baby’s nappy
When he wakes up, he won’t be happy

Won’t want to be near him, when his slumber’s done

Won’t want to be near him, when his slumber’s done
When he stops snoring I start to run...

I can't run fast while wearing a mask

I can't run fast while wearing a mask
Got a small problem, please don’t ask

I might tell you, but keep it a secret

I might tell you, but keep it a secret
Can you be trusted, or will you leak it?

Was that a clue I hear you wonder?

Was that a clue I hear you wonder
I would take a guess but don't want to blunder

Instead I'll go for a polite change of tune

Instead I'll go for a polite change of tune
As for making blunders, I’m not immune

In my time I’ve made some absolute stonkers!

In my time I’ve made some absolute stonkers!
And most of my friends think I'm bonkers.

But I'm not really, just a little confused

But I'm not really, just a little confused
My mind is a whirl so all secrets must be refused

As I get older I get more and more muddled

As I get older I get more and more muddled
Everything I see , gets me befuddled

The older I get, the more fuzzy my brain

The older I get, the more fuzzy my brain
It sure ain't funny so don't laugh like a drain

I'm always mislaying my door and car keys