Versatile Verse 3

I'm always mislaying my door and car keys
I get myself into all sorts of malarkeys

If folks only knew I’m ever so scatty

If folks only knew I’m ever so scatty
I admit myself - I’m completely batty.

I once left my dog tied up by a shop

I once left my dog tied up by a shop
caused me to panic and have a bit of a strop

I rushed back to get him feeling terrible guilt

I rushed back to get him feeling terrible guilt
He yawned when he saw me, his head on the tilt.

I bought him a marrow bone to try and make amends

I bought him a marrow bone to try and make amends
He soon forgave me and we are now good friends.

He gives me so much, including his fleas

He gives me so much, including his fleas
When I bend to give him a hug and a squeeze

I’ll have to buy some more flea powder

I'll have to buy some more flea powder
It's on my list next to some cheese from Gouda

Also some crackers and chutney would be nice

Also some crackers and chutney would be nice
and I'm making a curry so I need some rice

We enjoy some wine on a Saturday night

We enjoy some wine on a Saturday night
He likes red but I prefer white,

We both like champagne and can't get enough

We both like champagne and can't get enough
I’ll get a few bottles and drink it from a trough

And then we’ll keel over, and sleep comatosed

And then we’ll keel over, and sleep comatosed
We’ll look like statues that have been posed

Similar to The Lovers by Auguste Rodin

Similar to The Lovers by Auguste Rodin
But me and my Tom are like yin and yang

We plod along like most couples do

We plod along like most couples do
with family and friends; a great big crew

If we're lucky we're soul mates for life

If we're lucky we're soul mates for life
I won't mention he calls me his 'trouble and strife'

We'll dwell on the good times like Darby and Joan

We’ll dwell on the good times like Darby and Joan
He in his kingdom, me on my throne

Through sunshine and rain we’ll laugh and we’ll cry

Through sunshine and rain we’ll laugh and we’ll cry
At long as we're together we'll always get by.

Even though sometimes I think about divorce

Even though sometimes I think about divorce
And then on reflection I’m filled with remorse

As he’s very kind and undeserving

As he's very kind and undeserving
and doesn't deserve that kind of hurting

He's a steady old stick and still fun to be with

He's a steady old stick and still fun to be with
I’m glad I got rid of that Slimy old Sid

I was a plain Jane, not many suitors, I say

I was a plain Jane, not many suitors, I’d say

I was a plain Jane, not many suitors, I’d say
And those few were either married or gay

But then I met Fred, my perfect man

But then I met Fred, my perfect man
He smelt nice, though he drove a Fish Van

We ate so much sea food, we almost grew fins

We ate so much sea food, we almost grew fins
It’s healthy food so no double chins

We got 2 terriers and walked them for miles

We got 2 terriers and walked them for miles
Across many fields and over the stiles

It was at the stream that we came unstuck

It was at the stream that we came unstuck
They refused to budge, we just had no luck

A horse and rider came galloping by