VERSATILE VERSE 3

Turn off the phone, say I want to be alone
I’ll wallow in misery, to which I’m prone

It’ll be a while before I feel more festive

It'll be a while before I feel more festive
though I must admit I'm getting far more restive

I really want the vaccine so I can venture outside

I really want the vaccine so I can venture outside
Especially now I'm engaged, soon to be a bride.

Don't want social distancing with my husband-to-be

Don't want social distancing with my husband -to-be
I want to get him trained to bring my early cup of tea

Just knocking elbows will not be enough

Just knocking elbows will not be enough
Can't keep my hands off him, it's very tough,

I'm afraid he'll go home to his mother

I'm afraid he'll go home to his Mother
then maybe he'll meet another

But more Christmas pud for me

But more Christmas pud for me
I’ll soon be the size of a tree

If I keep on eating everything within reach

If I keep on eating everything within reach
I will begin to look like a whale on the beach

This is not good , greed is a vice

This is not good, greed is a vice
But goodness me! That cake looks nice!

I will just have a little nibble

I will just have a little nibble
And a drop of whisky in a thimble

It’s Xmas, let’s not count the pennies

It's Christmas let's not count the pennies
Eat drink and be merry then send for the rennies

There's time in the New Year to start the diet again

There's time in the New Year to start the diet again
I'll start right away, on the sound of Big Ben.

Fruit and seeds and salad and nuts galore

Fruit and seeds and salad and nuts galore
even with these on the menu I always want more

I'll have to make an effort and do portion control

I’ll have to make an effort and do portion control
You’re having a laugh - how very droll!

Small measures have never been my forte

Small measures have never been my forte
So take up running, let's become sporty.

I think I'll start by jogging round the lanes

I think I'll start by jogging round the lanes
but I'm lazy and think that would bring on aches and pains.

Perhaps a gentle stroll would be better at first

Perhaps a gentle stroll would be better at first
But I'll take some water in case of a thirst

Then I will get some new trainers to look the part

Then I will get some new trainers to look the part
I like the ones that flash in the dark

I will look “cool” as the teenagers say

I will look “cool” as the teenagers say
And I think I'm 'cooler' than they

With my flashy trainers and neon tights

With my flashy trainers and neon tights
I’m ready to dance beneath disco lights

Mirrored balls take me back to the Seventies

Mirrored balls take me back to the Seventies
having fun and thinking about universities

but what did I know - I married instead

but what did I know - I married instead
Found that I quite liked studying in bed.

And what did that bring? Babies galore

And what did that bring? Babies galore
I only had two - but wanted loads more

Now I'm just happy to be a granny

Now I'm just happy to be a granny
And when they say "I love you Nanny"

It's not the same now, it's all grunts and sulks

It’s not the same now, it’s all grunts and sulks
The girls are dainty and the boys are hulks

It’s that way round so that’s a blessing!