VERSATILE VERSE 3

I’ll go to a convent and borrow a ‘habit’.
Or if I see an ‘Oodie’, I’ll certainly nab it!

Something all concealing, that makes me feel good,

Something all concealing, that makes me feel good
that's romantically floaty in which I'll run through a wood

The excitement of it all is going to my head

The excitement of it all is going to my head
I’ll prepare a picnic! What a spread

Of freshly baked fancies both sweet and savoury

Of freshly baked fancies both sweet and savoury
Eating all, I’ll resist with great bravery

Then, wearing a mask, the remainder I’ll sell

Then, wearing a mask, the remainder I'll sell
to the New Age Travellers down in the dell

Then I'll come home and peruse travel brochures

Then I'll come home and peruse travel brochures
Have I made enough , my husband to allure ?

He’s one of those who has moths in his wallet

He’s one of those who has moths in his wallet
But is he as funny as Joel Dommett?

I can take anything if he makes me laugh

I can take anything if he makes me laugh
Though I’m hoping for Jersey in preference to Bath!

Though I’m hoping for Jersey in preference to Bath!
Where I won’t need a fire warming my hearth

The weather in Jersey I’ve heard is most clement

The weather in Jersey I’ve heard is most clement.
Delightful for young folk and those in retirement.
The beaches are gold, there’s a myriad of flowers

The beaches are gold, there’s a myriad of flowers
I’d love to go there and spend a few hours.

It’ll be a change from the concrete jungles

It’ll be a change from the concrete jungles
But I often make daft holiday bungles

And end up in Corfu instead of Crete

And end up in Corfu instead of Crete
I wouldn’t mind that, if there’s good food to eat!

But oh, somewhere warm, somewhere different and soon!

But oh, somewhere warm, somewhere different and soon!
Don’t care where, Kefalonia or Cameroon

Soon as I get my vaccinations and visas

Soon as I get my vaccinations and visas
I'll go somewhere extravagant like all of those divas

Off to the Carribean with a place by the shore

Off to the Caribbean with a place by the shore
To rest and relax, I could not ask for more

Bring me a ‘mojito’ or a ‘sex on the beach’

Bring me a ‘mojito’ or a ‘sex on the beach’,
I don't know what that is, care to teach?

I'd settle for a gin and vermouth

I’d settle for a gin and vermouth
(SotB) A cocktail I’ve had -tastes good, sounds uncouth!

Let’s lie back and relax in the warmth of the sun,

Let's lie back and relax in the warmth of the sun,
to be honest I'm up now for all kinds of fun

I wouldn't say no to a bit of romance

I wouldn't say no to a bit of romance
I hope he’ll look like that Charles Dance

I always had a crush on him

I wouldn't say no to a bit of romance
Especially with a man from Italy or France

It's the accent that really makes me swoon

I always had a crush on him
That’s what kept me going to the gym.

I wouldn’t say no to a bit of romance
Especially with a man from Italy or France

When Charles Trenet croons about La mer

When Charles Trenet croons about La mer
All I think about is it’s just not fair

With my singing voice I could’ve been famous

With my singing voice I could’ve been famous
Lived in a mansion and driven a Mercedes

But when, for an audition, I was called

But when, for an audition, I was called
the song I sang, I admit I mauled

It's sad to say, but panic set in