VERSATILE VERSE 3

Next line henetha?

Before I get too fat and go pop
I must stay away from the very tempting sweetie shop

The fruit and veg always make a nice display

The fruit and veg always make a nice display
I chose some once then forgot to pay

I didn't realize until I was almost home

I didn't realize until I was almost home
So I turned back my pedal bike made of chrome

The greengrocer applauded me for my honesty

The greengrocer applauded me for my honesty
And gave me a big red apple for my tea,

I stewed it and ate it with clotted cream

I stewed it and ate it with clotted cream
No wonder I’m becoming broad across the beam

All these calories that I’m scoffing

All these calories that I’m scoffing
Damn! A crumb has left me coughing.

Need a drink before I choke!

Need a drink before I choke
Please make mine a rum and coke

I'll have one tomorrow in a pub garden

I'll have one tomorrow in a pub garden
And if I burp I'll beg your pardon

I'll follow it down with a whisky chaser

I’ll follow it down with a whisky chaser
Then off on my bike, I’m a powerful racer,

Up and down hills. Ooh the strength in my thighs!

Up and down hills. Ooh the strength in my thighs!
But some of those hills bring tears to my eyes.

Some bikes have engines now, I'm tempted to buy

No, don't like that...
Some bikes have engines now, I'm sorely tempted

Some bikes have engines now, I'm sorely tempted
DHs money worries I’ve preempted

By telling him I’ll use my gran’s inheritance

By telling him I’ll use my gran’s inheritance
Five hundred pounds and twenty pence

He said “oh no, you must be mad”

He said "oh no, you must be mad"
He's often grumpy which makes me sad

But he won't hold me back I've made up my mind

But he won’t help me back I’ve made up my mind
And encased in tight spandex, a strong wind behind

I’ll do all that I can do, to pedal with power

I’ll do all that I can do, to pedal with power
I’ll be very sweaty and will need to shower

That’s the problem with wearing Lycra

That's the problem with wearing Lycra
so I'll get a new kitchen with sides made of formica

Oh isn't that boring, I'll holiday instead

Oh isn't that boring, I'll holiday instead
A 5* Star Hotel, with great feather beds

I’m not too bothered about the cuisine

I’m not to bothered about the cuisine
But not if served raw, like some places I’ve been.

I once, all unknowingly, chose steak tartare

I once, all unknowingly, chose steak tartare
Not realising it was more than rare

Oh yuk, how can anyone eat that stuff?

Oh yuk, how can anyone eat that stuff?
Same with oysters, once was enough

And don’t get me started on Scotland’s haggis

And don’t get me started on Scotland’s haggis
French Andouilette equally bad is

They’re chitterlings sausages, so hard to chew.

They’re chitterlings sausages, so hard to chew
And American jerky just makes me spew

But sushi is a favourite food

But sushi is a favourite food
It's tasty, healthy and altogether good

Today I had fish and chips down at the coast