VERSATILE VERSE 3

Her Highness and me, we'll rap in sync
Me dressed in blue and she in pink

We’ll probably drink a glass ot two

We’ll probably drink a glass ot two
And nibble from plates of petit four (French is not my strong point)

We'll then sit down to have a natter

We'll then sit down to have a natter
She high status me low; what does it matter?

Between us we'll put the world to rights

Between us we'll put the world to rights
And discuss why people can't live without fights.

When she rings a bell I know I must leave

When she rings a bell I know I must leave
With my head on my shoulders - a lucky reprieve!

One of her ancestors might’ve sent me to the Tower!

One of her ancestors might’ve sent me to the Tower!
But now, thank goodness, monarchs don't have that power!

I'll try not to trip on a corgi as I go

I'll try not to trip on a corgi as I go
I'm sure he's trained to nip.my toe

When I got home, something went 'clink'

When I got home, something went 'clink'
It was my husband and daughter having a drink.

They wanted to know how I'd got on at the Palace

They wanted to know how I'd got on at the Palace,
The one where Christopher went down with Alice.

I told them all it was really grand

I told them all it was really grand
with ladies in waiting and a military band

The Queen was both gracious and down to earth too

The Queen was both gracious and down to earth too
She cleaned up after one of her corgi's did a poo.

A chauffeured limousine took me home

A chauffeured limousine took me home
and I sat down to write a poem

Unfortunately inspiration didn't come

Unfortunately inspiration didn’t come
That’s the reason I’m looking glum ☹️

Now I’ll never be the Queen’s Poet Laureate

Now I'll never be the Queen's Poet Laureate
But perhaps she thinks of me as a mate

Next time she wants a chat she'll give me a ring

Next time she wants a chat she'll give me a ring
And ask me to join her in the west wing

The Emerald Room is where I always stay

The Emerald Room is where I always stay
With breakfast kippers brought in on a tray

I could get used to a life like that

I could get used to a life like that
Instead of here in my small rented flat

There isn't room for a cat or a dog

There isn't room for a cat or a dog
Let alone my big fat 'hog'

I think I'm sounding rather mean

I think I'm sounding rather mean
Maybe just joking, think you two are a team.

Think of all the laughs you have had

Think of all the laughs you have had
Times that weren't really that bad

Then, the village 'Barbie' walked in

Then, the village 'Barbie' walked in,
Without Ken, they're divorced again

She's moving on to victims new

She’s moving on to victims new
There’s no taming of that shrew

She has the makings of a dominatrix

She has the makings of a dominatrix
Her type and husbands are not a good mix

I can see it all now, as in a crystal ball

I can see it all now, as in a crystal ball
She's high now, but heading for a fall

She'll trip and damage her plastic face

She'll trip and damage her plastic face
That's what is known as a fall from Grace.

I would much rather have Action Man