Limericks 14

My head’ll be sore come morning
If I don’t heed my own warning
So drink more water
That's what I oughter

My head'll be sore come morning
If I don't heed my own warning
So drink more water
That's what I oughter
And won't feel too rough come the dawning.

Sadly, an old sot from The City

Sadly, an old sot from The City
Had a fate that was far from pretty

Sadly, an old sot from The City
Had a fate that was far from pretty
His losses were great

Sadly, an old sot from The City
Had a fate that was far from pretty
His losses were great
He’d miscalculate

Sadly, an old sot from The City
Had a fate that was far from pretty
His losses were great
He’d miscalculate
And lost all he had in his kitty..

Too scared to go back to his missus

Too scared to go back to his missus
He knows he would face dismisses

Too scared to go back to his missus
He knows he would face dismisses
He's now in his club

Too scared to go back to his missus
He knows he would face dismisses
He’s now in his club
And then to the pub

Too scared to go back to his missus
He knows he would face dismisses
He’s now in his club
And then to the pub
I think he’ll soon have no Mrs

For hours he has propped up the bar

Too scared to go back to his missus
He knows he would face dismisses
He’s now in his club
And then to the pub
Chasing the barmaid with kisses.

But she poured the beer on his head

For hours he has propped up the bar
Couldn’t drive home in his car

For hours he has propped up the bar
Couldn’t drive home in his car
He's talking some rot

For hours he has propped up the bar
Couldn’t drive home in his car
He's talking some rot
Nose dripping with snot

For hours he has propped up the bar
Couldn’t drive home in his car
He's talking some rot
Nose dripping with snot
When he leaves he’s not going far

The gutter he managed to reach

The gutter he managed to reach
With nothing to do save beseech

The gutter he managed to reach
With nothing to do save beseech
A gruff policeman

The gutter he managed to reach
With nothing to do save beseech
A gruff policeman
With beady eyes scan

The gutter he managed to reach
With nothing to do save beseech
A gruff policeman
Whose beady eyes scan
The drunkard with the slurry speech

And so this sad saga ended

And so this sad saga ended
By that gruff cop apprehended

And so this sad saga ended
By that gruff cop apprehended
Taken to the cells

And so this sad saga ended
By that gruff cop apprehended
Taken to the cells
With a few farewells

And so this sad saga ended
By that gruff cop apprehended
Taken to the cells
With a few farewells
His deeds he soon amended

No more the demon drink he’d touch

No more then demon drink he`d touch
He realised he had had too much

No more then demon drink he`d touch
He realised he had had too much
With good intentions in place