Limericks 14

There once was a parrot named Jane
Who mastered a naughty refrain
"Eff off" she shouted
Swear rules were flouted

There once was a parrot named Jane
Who mastered a naughty refrain
"Eff Off" she shouted
Where learnt not doubted
My neighbour can be such a pain

His language comes from the gutter

His language comes from the gutter
A complete and utter nutter

His language comes from the gutter
A complete and utter nutter
He thinks it's funny

His language comes from the gutter
A complete and utter nutter
He thinks it's funny
Words from the dunny

His language comes from the gutter
A complete and utter nutter
He thinks it's funny
Words from the dunny
It makes poor Aunt Aggie splutter.

One likes to be oh so refined

One likes to be oh so refined
Although we're not all so inclined

One likes to be oh so refined
Although we're not all so inclined
Fur coat, no knickers

One likes to be oh so refined
Although we`re not all so inclined
Fur coat, no knickers
Held on with stickers

One likes to be oh so refined
Although we`re not all so inclined
Fur coat, no knickers
Held on with stickers
Maybe best to avoid that kind

I feel a springclean coming on

I feel a springclean coming on,
But today that feeling has gone

I feel a springclean coming on
But today that feeling has gone
I’d rather drink tea

I feel a springclean coming on
But today that feeling has gone
I'd rather drink tea
As lazy can be

I feel a springclean coming on
But today that feeling has gone
I'd rather drink tea
As lazy can be
And eat that freshly baked scone

Next line WishIwasyounger ?

How about -

Yes, I do wish I was younger

Yes, I do wish I was younger
And not married a fishmonger

Yes, I do wish I was younger
And not married a fishmonger
I'm sick of the smell

Yes, I do wish I was younger
And not married a fishmonger
I'm sick of the smell
And gutting as well

Yes, I do wish I was younger
And not married a fishmonger
I'm sick of the smell
And gutting as well
For a new life I do hunger.

I was meant for better than this

I was meant for better than this
My men have been so hit and miss

I was meant for better than this
My men have been so hit and miss
Ah, for a young Prince

I was meant for better than this
My men have been so hit and miss
Ah, for a young Prince
Ignored were my hints

I was meant for better than this
My men have been so hit and miss
Ah, for a young Prince
Ignored were my hints
How many more frogs must I kiss?

Where’s the hero I’ve yet to meet

Where’s the hero I’ve yet to meet
Someone who is right up my street