Limericks 17

He`s emigrating to Hong Kong
Where perhaps they`ll accept his song
They`re much cooler there
But what should he wear?

He`s emigrating to Hong Kong
Where perhaps they`ll accept his song
They`re much cooler there
But what should he wear?
Please say that it isn`t a thong?

A mankini is just as bad

A mankini is just as bad
In bright lime green, what a brave lad!

A mankini is just as bad
In bright lime green, what a brave lad!
It only covers

A mankini is just as bad
In bright lime green, what a brave lad!
It only covers
His bits, from lovers

A mankini is just as bad
In bright lime green, what a brave lad!
It only covers
His bits, from lovers
Who don`t think that he`s at all bad!

What does your old man wear to bed?

What does your old man wear to bed?
Pyjamas and a hat on his head

What does your old man wear to bed?
Pyjamas and a hat on his head
When need arises

What does your old man wear to bed?
Pyjamas and a hat on his head
When need arises
Dons diff'rent guises

What does your old man wear to bed
Pyjamas and a hat on his head
When need arises
Dons diff`rent guises
Maybe he`ll go naked instead

But only in clement weather

But only in clement weather
He runs nuddy through the heather

But only in clement weather
He runs muddy through the heather
A sure sight to see

“nuddy “

But only in clement weather
He runs nuddy through the heather
A sure sight to see
By the River Dee

But only in clement weather
He runs nuddy through the heather
A sure sight to see
By the River Dee
Cops! and he’ll run hell for leather

Seems this winter we’ll freeze or starve

Seems this winter we’ll starve or freeze

Seems this winter we’ll starve or freeze
But don't stockpile, I beg you please,

Seems this winter we’ll starve or freeze
But don't stockpile, I beg you please,
There's more than enough

Seems this winter we'll
starve or freeze.
But don't stockpile, I beg you please.
There's more than enough.
Even though times are tough.

Seems this winter we'll starve or freeze.
But don't stockpile, I beg you please.
There's more than enough.
Even though times are tough.
We could try making our own cheese.

And keep some brown chickens for eggs

And keep some brown chickens for eggs
And help out your mum if she begs

And keep some brown chickens for eggs
And help out your mum if she begs
A fresh one each day

And keep some brown chickens for eggs
And help out your mum if she begs
A fresh one each day
For more they will lay

And keep some brown chickens for eggs
And help out your mum if she begs
A fresh one each day
For more they will lay
And poor Mum is run off her legs.

She cooks and she cleans and she shops

She cooks and she cleans and she shops
She tends to the acres of crops