Limericks 17

Sometimes limericks lose their way
I know , I’ve often gone astray
There's words with no rhyme
And beats with no time

Sometimes limericks lose their way
I know, I've often gone astray
There's words with no rhyme
And beats with no time
But let's keep trying come what may.

There was an old woman from Stowe

There was an old woman from Stowe
On who, God did not, beauty, bestow

There was an old woman from Stowe
On who, God did not, beauty, bestow
But humour she had

There was an old woman from Stowe
On who, God did not, beauty, bestow
But humour she had
Made many lives glad

There was an old woman from Stowe
On who, God did not, beauty, bestow
But humour she had
Made many lives glad
That’s all that matters, nothing more

I dreamt that I was crowned Miss World

I dreamt that I was crowned Miss World
So glad that I`d had my hair curled,

I dreamt that I was crowned Miss World
So glad that I`d had my hair curled,
My crown, encrusted

I dreamt that I was crowned Miss World
So glad that I`d had my hair curled,
My crown, encrusted
They should have trusted

I dreamt that I was crowned Miss World
So glad that I'd had my hair curled
My crown, encrusted
They should have trusted
A beauty for whom they'd lusted.

As I shimmied in my swimsuit

As I shimmied in my swimsuit
My rival, in she stuck her boot

As I shimmied in my swimsuit
My rival, in she stuck her boot
She came a cropper

As I shimmied in my swimsuit
My rival, in she stuck her boot
She came a cropper
The judges drop her

As I shimmied in my swimsuit
My rival, in she stuck her boot
She came a cropper
The judges drop her
All she got was a broken foot

The lady at the checkout till

The lady at the checkout till
Said I must really pay my bill

The lady at the checkout till
Said I must really pay my bill
I said “I’m really poor”

The lady at the checkout till
Said I must really pay me bill
I said "I'm really poor"
She showed me the door

The lady at the checkout till
Said I must really pay my bill
I said "I`m really poor"
She showed me the door
For niceness I gave her a nil.

It`s hard when you don`t have the cash

It`s hard when you don`t have the cash
Your reputation takes a bash

It`s hard when you don`t have the cash
Your reputation takes a bash
Decided to sell

It`s hard when you don`t have the cash
Your reputation takes a bash
Decided to sell
It made me feel like hell

It’ s hard when you don`t have the cash
Your reputation takes a bash
Decided to sell
It made me feel like hell
But my motor was far too flash

I now have some money to spend

I now have some money to spend,
Shall I give some to my poor friend?

I now have some money to spend,
Shall I give some to my poor friend?

Or spend it on presents for me?

I now have some money to spend,
Shall I give some to my poor friend?
A big feast to share