New Limerick

There once was a silly old vicar
Who did nothing but grumble and bicker
His sermons were loud
As onwards he ploughed
He could not be any thicker.

So will someone please shut him up

Or put something strong in his cup

So will someone please shut him up
Or put something strong in his cup
Give him a good shake

So will someone please shut him up
Or put something strong in his cup
Give him a good shake
Or hand him a snake

So will someone please shut him up
Or put something strong in his cup
Give him a good shake
Or hand him a snake
Or be forthright and just say “belt up”.

There was a young lady from Kent

There was a young lady from Kent
Who lived in an old fashioned tent

There was a young lady from Kent
Quite pretty, but her nose was bent

There was a young lady from Kent
Who lived in an old fashioned tent
She rode an old bike

There was a young lady from Kent
Who lived in an old fashioned tent
She rode an old bike
Which she seemed to like

There was a young lady from Kent
Who lived in an old fashioned tent
She rode an old bike
Which she seemed to like
And felt it was money well spent

But she had a mishap one day

But she had a mishap one day
While on her soft mattress she lay

But she had a mishap one day
While on her soft mattress she lay
It was a bad dream

But she had a mishap one day
While on her soft mattress she lay
It was a bad dream
But how real it did seem!

But she had a mishap one day
While on her soft mattress she lay
It was a bad dream
But how real it did seem!
Her mattress got soaked I must say

My car is an old rust bucket

My car is an old rust bucket
Mine too, I can't afford to chuck it

My car is an old rust bucket
Mine too, I can't afford to chuck it
Tried to trade it in

My car is an old rust bucket
Mine too, I can't afford to chuck it
Tried to trade it in
For a bottle of gin

My car is an old rust bucket
Mine too, I can't afford to chuck it
Tried to trade it in
For a bottle of gin
Plus an old fashioned coin called a ducat

I had a job resisting the temptation there …

I’m battling a really vile bug (True)

So please don't expect me to hug

Bellanonna - why didn’t you go for it ? We’re all over 18;- I hope 😂
I’m battling a really vile bug
So please don’t expect me to hug
Snorting and sniffling

I’m battling a really vile bug
So please don’t expect me to hug
Snorting and sniffling
Not at all piffling,

Have some linctus, come on, chuggalug!


I don't think I like my new bra

Looks like the one worn by grandma

Sorry......

I don't think I like my new bra
Looks like the one worn by grandma

I nearly did Crazy! 😇

I don't think I like my new bra
Looks like the one worn by grandm
So I’m leaving it off