New Limerick

I spent the whole day on the beach
Good book and some wine within reach,
I paddled a bit
Didn’t swim (not that fit),
And ate some ice cream with a peach.

But today, guess what? It's raining,

But today, guess what? It's raining,
I find this bad weather so draining

But today, guess what? It's raining,
I find this bad weather so draining
I just need some sun

But today, guess what? It's raining,
I find this bad weather so draining
I just need some sun
This weather's no fun,

But today, guess what? It's raining,
I find this bad weather so draining
I just need some sun
This weather's no fun,
And I’m fed up with marathon training

Someone just knocked at my door

Someone just knocked at my door
I think I have seen him before

Someone just knocked at my door
I think I have seen him before
I remember now 🫣

The inkpot sat in its own hole
The blacks and blues as dark as coal

Back to Crazy...

Someone just knocked at my door
I think I have seen him before
I remember now
He had a brown cow, 🫣

Someone just knocked at my door
I think I have seen him before
I remember now
He had a brown cow, 🫣
And a large tattoo on his jaw

I’ve just seen a cat up a tree

I’ve just seen a cat up a tree
I hope it won't fall down on me

I've just seen a cat up a tree
I hope it won't fall down on me
Looks like a hunter

I've just seen a cat up a tree
I hope it won't fall down on me
Looks like a hunter
Belongs to Gunther

I've just seen a cat up a tree
I hope it won't fall down on me
Looks like a hunter
Belongs to Gunther,
I hope it's rescued before tea.

I'd like to claim ownership now,

I'd like to claim ownership now,
And hope it gets on with my chow

I'd like to claim ownership now,
And hope it gets on with my chow
But it's still in the tree

I'd like to claim ownership now,
And hope it gets on with my chow
But it's still in the tree
Can I lure him with tea?

I'd like to claim ownership now,
And hope it gets on with my chow
But it's still in the tree
Can I lure him with tea?
He needs to jump down from that bough

The fire brigade are on their way

The fire brigade are on their way
Their uniforms will make my day

The fire brigade are on their way
Their uniforms will make my day
Young, strong burly men

The fire brigade are on their way
Their uniforms will make my day
Young, strong burly men
They said, "You again?"

The fire brigade are on their way
Their uniforms will make my day
Young, strong burly men
They said, "You again?"
Perhaps I should use an ashtray.

There once was a silly old vicar

There once was a silly old vicar
Who did nothing but grumble and bicker

There once was a silly old vicar
Who did nothing but grumble and bicker
His sermons were loud

There once was a silly old vicar
Who did nothing but grumble and bicker
His sermons were loud
As onwards he ploughed