Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway)

When I looked after a friend’s snake
It became more than I could take
All over it slithered
With horror, I dithered

When I looked after a friend’s snake
It became more than I could take
All over it slithered
But then it dithered

When I looked after a friend’s snake
It became more than I could take
All over it slithered

When I looked after a friend’s snake
It became more than I could take

I met a young couple from Perth
Who said "We are all on Flat Earth"
Did they go to school?
Did they know the rule?
Or perhaps they said it with mirth.

When I looked after a friend’s snake

I met a young couple from Perth
Who said "We are all on Flat Earth"
Did they go to school?
Did they know the rule?

met a young couple from Perth
Who said "We are all on Flat Earth"
Did they go to school?

I met a young couple from Perth
Who said "We are all on Flat Earth"

It's noisy under the flight path
Pollution means a frequent path
There's fumes all over
From Dundee to Dover
I need to keep taking a bath

I met a young couple from Perth

It's noisy under the flight path
Pollution means a frequent path
There's fumes all over
From Dundee to Dover

It’s noisy under the flight path
Pollution means a frequent path
There's fumes all over

It’s noisy under the flight path
Pollution means a frequent path

My husband brought snails back from France,
Said he thought he should take a chance
“None for me!” I said 🤢
I'd rather be dead
I’ll get a sick bucket, perchance.

It’s noisy under the flight path

My husband brought snails back from France,
Said he thought he should take a chance
“None for me!” I said 🤢
I'd rather be dead

My husband brought snails back from France,
Said he thought he should take a chance
“None for me!” I said 🤢

My husband brought snails back from France,
Said he thought he should take a chance

The cat is going demented
Because fish he thinks he’s scented
It’s something rotten
Better throw ‘outen’
Glad air fresh'ner was invented.

My husband brought snails back from France

The cat is going demented
Because fish he thinks he’s scented
It’s something rotten
Better throw ‘outen’

The cat is going demented
Because fish he thinks he’s scented
It’s something rotten

The cat is going demented
Because fish he thinks he’s scented

I think I just saw a mouse
The cat's chasing it round the house
Upstairs and downstairs
Under beds, behind armchairs
I prefer a mouse to a louse.

The cat is going demented

I think I just saw a mouse
The cat's chasing it round the house
Upstairs and downstairs
Under beds, behind armchairs

I think I just saw a mouse
The cat’s chasing it round the house
Upstairs and downstairs

I think I just saw a mouse
The cat’s chasing it round the house

The curtain at my windows torn
It makes the house look forlorn
Choosing new takes time,
Hmm, crimson or lime?
Maybe I’ll settle for fawn.

I think I just saw a mouse