July 23 Limerick (continuation of July 21)

Her hotel had a well stocked bar
To walk there wasn't far
We drank a few shots
While wearing culottes
And watched a film on Myanmar

We thought we'd go on to a club

We thought we'd go on to a club
But Sheila fell into a shrub

We thought we'd go on to a club
But Sheila fell into a shrub
Couldn't get her out

We thought we'd go on to a club
But Sheila fell into a shrub
Couldn't get her out
I gave her a clout

We thought we'd go on to a club
But Sheila fell into a shrub
Couldn't get her out
I gave her a clout
Then left her and went to the pub

The pub was full of drunken men

The pub was full of drunken men
So I forgot Sheila again

The pub was full of drunken men
So I forgot Sheila again
A guy called Mickey

The pub was full of drunken men
So I forgot Sheila again
A guy called Mickey
Gave me a hickey

The pub was full of drunken men
So I forgot Sheila again
A guy called Mickey
Gave me a hickey
And Sheila went home to her hen.

Her pet hen lays expensive eggs

Her pet hen lays expensive eggs
That hatch into chicks with pink legs

Her pet hen lays expensive eggs
That hatch into chicks with pink legs
They are rather weird

Her pet hen lays expensive eggs
They hatch into chicks with pink legs
They are rather weird
As each has a beard

Her pet hen lays expensive eggs
They hatch into chicks with pink legs
They are rather weird
As each has a beard
I’d say they all look like our Meg’s

There are some weird things going on

There are some weird things going on
I think it is some kind of con

There are some weird things going on
I think it is some kind of con
They think we're silly

There are some weird things going on
I think it is some kind of con
They think we're silly
Brainless and frilly

There are some weird things going on
I think it is some kind of con
They think we're silly
Brainless and frilly
And before you know it, they’re gone

I told my friend I saw a ghost

I told my friend I saw a ghost
She looked aghast and dropped her toast

I told my friend I saw a ghost
She looked aghast and dropped her toast
She thought it was Fred

I told my friend I saw a ghost
She looked aghast and dropped her toast
She thought it was Fred
Who for years has been dead

I told a friend I saw a ghost
She looked aghast and dropped her toast
She thought it was Fred
Who for years has been dead
She's jealous 'cos I've seen him most

Today I look a total mess

Today I look a total mess
I really need a brand new dress

Today I look a total mess
I really need a brand new dress
For Fred to admire

Today I look a total mess
I really need a brand new dress
For Fred to admire
Or myself to inspire

Today I look a total mess
I really need a brand new dress
For Fred to admire
Or myself to inspire
En route I’ll visit M&S

I still have a soft spot for Jeff