Limericks (July 23)

Sorry, was in the wrong place. Ignore the above.

The parrots had a great idea
That makes me a bit scared I fear
They kidnapped the cat
Told him he was fat
The parrot is "no more," I hear.

He turned up in a Monty Python skit

He turned up in a Monty Python skit
On his shoulders was a blue tit

He turned up in a Monty Python skit
On his shoulders was a blue tit
Had plenty to say

He turned up in a Monty Python skit
On his shoulders was a blue tit
Had plenty to say
Spam on a Sunday?

He turned up in a Monty Python skit
On his shoulders was a blue tit
Had plenty to say
Spam on a Sunday?
And the Spanish Inquisition, to wit!

It's time for a limerick that's calm

It's time for a limerick that's calm
One that's funny but does no harm

t's time for a limerick that's calm
One that's funny but does no harm
But those are so boring

I'm it's time for a Limerick that's calm
One that's funny but does no harm
But those are so boring
We'll all end up snoring

Its time for a Limerick that's calm
One that's funny but does no harm
But those are so boring
We'll all end up snoring
And wake up our young neighbour Sam

Now, he’s not one to be messed with

Now, he’s not one to be messed with
He is the stuff of urban myth

Now, he’s not one to be messed with
He is the stuff of urban myth
He loves martial arts

Now he's not one to be messed with
He is the stuff of urban myth
He loves martial arts
And likes baking tarts

Now he's not one to be messed with
He is the stuff of urban myth
He loves martial arts
And likes baking tarts
Keeping peel but binning the pith

The Christmas market in full flow

The Christmas market in full flow
Must go there, I need a red bow

The Christmas market in full flow
Must go there, I need a red bow
Some tinsel and bells

The Christmas market in full flow
Must go there, I need a red bow
Some tinsel and bells
Colourful nail gels

The Christmas market in full flow
Must go there, I need a red bow
Some tinsel and bells
Colourful nail gels
So festive you couldn't feel low

I bought some lights to hang outside

I bought some lights to hang outside
I'll hang them myself, with some pride

I bought some lights to hang outside
I'll hang them myself, with some pride
My neighbours will be

I bought some lights to hang outside
I'll hang them myself, with some pride
My neighbours will be
So surprised to see.....

I bought some lights to hang outside
I'll hang them myself, with some pride
My neighbours will be
So surprised to see.....
Santa taking me out for a ride

The mulled wine and cider were great

The mulled wine and cider were great
Had a bit too much with my mate

The mulled wine and cider were great
Had a bit too much with my mate
We got all ‘giddy’

The mulled wine and cider were great
Had a bit too much with my mate
We got all ‘giddy’
Giggled like a kiddie

The mulled wine and cider were great
Had a bit too much with my mate
We got all ‘giddy’
Giggled like a kiddie
But sat down for dinner at eight

The reindeer were friendly and quick