Limericks (July 23)

Was time for sparklers and rockets
Treacle toffee in our pockets
Bright lights in the sky
Months are flying by
For Christmas I'll gift some lockets.

Oh please don't lets talk Christmas yet

Oh please don't lets talk Christmas yet
I usually end up in debt

Oh please don't lets talk Christmas yet
I usually end up in debt
Spending on crackers

Oh please don't let's talk Christmas yet
I usually end up in debt
Spending on Crackers
Even maraccas

Oh please don't let's talk Christmas yet
I usually end up in debt
Spending on Crackers
Even maraccas
Means that I am starting to fret

I'm going to lose weight next year

I'm going to lose weight next year
Oh, I’ve heard that before, my dear

I'm going to lose weight next year
Oh, I’ve heard that before, my dear
Just celery sticks

I'm going to lose weight next year
Oh, I’ve heard that before, my dear
Just celery sticks
No mid-morning ‘picks’

I'm going to lose weight next year
Oh, I've heard that before my dear
Just celery sticks
No mid morning 'picks'
This year will be good never fear

Gym added to daily routine

Gym added to daily routine
But I'm not really all that keen

Gym added to daily routine
But I'm not really all that keen
Maybe I'll wait

Gym added to daily routine
But I'm not really all that keen
Maybe I'll wait
Gym I really hate

Gym added to daily routine
But I'm not really all that keen
Maybe I'll wait
Gym I really hate
But at least an attempt’s been seen

I can’t say that Lycra suits me

I can’t say that Lycra suits me
Every bump and bulge you can see

I can't say that lycra suits me
Every bump and bulge you can see
Rather do tap dance

I can't say that lycra suits me
Every bump and bulge you can see
Rather do tap dance
Good for my balance

I can't say that lycra suits me
Every bump and bulge you can see
Rather do tap dance
Good for my balance
Perhaps a quick swim in the sea

When I was little, almost drowned

When I was little, almost drowned
But swimming is fun, I have found

When I was little, almost drowned
But swimming is fun, I have found
Don't like my swim cap

When I was little, almost drowned
But swimming is fun, I have found
Don't like my swim cap
Puts me in a flap

When I was little, almost drowned
But swimming is fun, I have found
Don't like my swim cap
Puts me in a flap
Even after tequila's downed

The parrots had a great idea

The parrots had a great idea
That makes me a bit scared I fear

The parrots had a great idea
That makes me a bit scared I fear
They kidnapped the cat

The parrots had a great idea
That makes me a bit scared I fear
They kidnapped the cat
Told him he was fat

The winner got a bag of brazils
Resulting in squirrely thrills