Limericks (July 23)

My Vet, he’s got sticky fingers
On his hands my cat’s fur lingers
Where has his hand been?
It's not very clean
This poem doesn't have any zingers

Do you travel to places exotic?

Do you travel to places exotic?
Yes, peaceful and not chaotic,

Do you travel to places exotic?
Yes, peaceful and not chaotic,
I need to relax

Do you travel to places exotic?
Yes, peaceful and not chaotic,
I need to relax
Not worry about tax

Do you travel to places exotic?
Yes, peaceful and not chaotic,
I need to relax
Not worry about tax
Making me feel less robotic

Been away but I'm home again

Been away but I'm home again
Back in my own cozy den

Been away but I'm home again
Back in my own cozy den
The rooms are dusty

Been away but I'm home again
Back in my own cozy den
The rooms are dusty
Smell a bit musty

Been away but I'm home again
Back in my own cozy den
The rooms are dusty
Smell a bit musty
Think I will go off on the train

I’ll splash out on a First Class coach

I’ll splash out on a First Class coach,
Hopefully won't see a cockroach,

I’ll splash out on a First Class coach,
Hopefully won't see a cockroach
Seating was comfy

I'll splash out on a First Class coach
Hopefully won't see a cockroach
Seating was comfy
Ride wasn't bumpy

I'll splash out on a First Class coach
Hopefully won't see a cockroach
Seating was comfy
Ride wasn't bumpy
Next limerick: a new approach

That train ride was terribly boring

That train ride was terribly boring
Neighbour fast asleep and snoring

That train ride was terribly boring
Neighbour fast asleep and snoring
Mouth was quite agape

That train ride was terribly boring
Neighbour fast asleep and snoring
Mouth was quite agape
Wished I could escape

That train ride was terribly boring
Neighbour fast asleep and snoring
Mouth was quite agape
Wished I could escape
But outside, the rain began pouring

That was the worst trip of my life

That was the worst trip of my life
Was a source of trouble and strife

That was the worst trip of my life
Was a source of trouble and strife
I stretched out and slept

That was the worst trip of my life
Was a source of trouble and strife
I stretched out and slept
Then I just wept

That was the worst trip of my life
Was a source of trouble and strife
I stretched out and slept
Then I just wept
When a man approached with a knife

In future I'll drive my own car

In future I'll drive my own car
No knives or snoring, I'll go far

In future I'll drive my own car
No knives or snoring, I'll go far
Yes, that would be best

In future I'll drive my own car
No knives or snoring, I'll go far
Yes, that would be best,
Services, for rest

In future I'll drive my own car
No knives or snoring, I'll go far
Yes, that would be best,
Services, for rest
For company I’ve raised the bar

When my Uncle Ted got married