WRONG ANSWERS!!

Because of inclusiveness these days they have to ensure that absolutely everyone knows they have finished.

Why do I keep getting adverts popping up

It's a quieter way of creeping up on you.

Why do machines need to beep to tell you they have finished?

Because they are not allowed in the gym for exercise

Why do snakes slither?

To annoy the weatherman who forecast rain

Who do dogs shake themselves

Because they all understand English perfectly. If you used a different language, they would struggle.

Why has it stopped raining?

No because then I would have to buy 2 pairs of identical shoes.

Why do dogs (usually) bring things back when you shout "Fetch"?

That it's as big as it needs to be to cover my brain.

Do you have two left feet?

The same thing as toenails, but I can't spell it so I can't tell you.

What are your thoughts about the size of your head?

Because they pull their hair out

What are fingernails made of?

So they all look the same and can’t be identified easily

Why do some men go bald

Its called Mad-rid because thats where they put all the crazy people.

Why do train spotters all wear duffle coats?

Because you travel backwards and forwards to Australia every three days!

What's the capital of Spain?

Because you have just run two marathons. Give yourself a break!

Why do I forget which day of the week it is?

It's not. You prefer to believe the newspapers.

Why am I so tired?!

Because you had not rinsed it properly

Why is it boring to watch paint dry

So that the one you need can pull away quickly before you've had a chance to get on.

Why does it rain when you've just pegged out the washing?

They dont. They just say they do.

Why do two buses come at once?

They went out without wearing their vests, and caught their deaths.

Why do blondes have more fun?

They are all disguised as crows

Why did dinosaurs die out?

Because you keep standing on them

Why don’t you see baby pigeons

Because you don't enter any. You need to be in it to win it .

Why do my feet hurt so much?

Another story invented by the media

Why do I never win competitions?

They all live at the bottom of my garden now.

Why do four- leafed clovers mean good luck?

Between to pots of gold

Where have all the fairies gone

The big black hairy ones give them a push as they stand near the edge.

Where is the rainbow bridge?