More Lame Limericks

She thinks she is bringing me gifts
All these corpses that I have to shift
Most of them tiny
Fuzzy, not shiny

She thinks she is bringing me gifts
All these corpses that I have to shift
Most of them tiny
Fuzzy, not shiny
Revolting! Do you get my drift?

I think I am ruled by the cat

She thinks she is bringing me gifts
All these corpses that I have to shift
Most of them tiny
Fuzzy, not shiny
Always end up feeling quite miffed

I think I might go on a cruise

I think I might go on a cruise
Inclusive of all food and booze

I think I might go on a cruise
Inclusive of all food and booze
I’ll set off today

I think I might go on a cruise
Inclusive of all food and booze
I’ll set off today
Head down to the bay

I think I might go on a cruise
Inclusive of all food and booze
I’ll set off today
Head down to the bay,
But first I'll just have a nice snooze.

Oh drat, I've just missed the last boat

Oh drat, I've just missed the last boat
I'll sleep on the beach in my coat

Oh drat, I've just missed the last boat
I'll sleep on the beach in my coat
Well, it turned out much cheaper

Oh drat, I've just missed the last boat
I'll sleep on the beach in my coat
Well, it turned out much cheaper
Than a posh cruise ship sleeper

Oh drat, I've just missed the last boat
I'll sleep on the beach in my coat
Well' it turned out much cheaper
Than a posh cruise ship sleeper
Though I shared my berth with a goat

I got off the boat in a daze

I got off the boat in a daze
Surrounded by goat feed and hays

I got off the boat in a daze
Surrounded by goat feed and hays
The goat's friend met her

I got off the boat in a daze
Surrounded by goat feed and hays
The goat's friend met her
And they made an odd pair

I got off the boat in a daze
Surrounded by goat feed and hays
The goat's friend met her
They made an odd pair
They did have some funny old ways

The goats locked horns most of the time

The goats locked horns most of the time
It seemed without reason or rhyme

The goats locked horns most of the time
It seemed without reason or rhyme
Then first one would butt

The goats locked horns most of the time
It seemed without reason or rhyme
Then first one would butt
And would act like a nut

The goats locked horns most of the time
It seemed without reason or rhyme
Then first one would butt
And would act like a nut
Soon both would be covered in grime

I hastened away from the scene

I hastened away from the scene
Of such antics I’m not at all keen

I hastened away from the scene
Of such antics I'm not keen
I ran down the street

I hastened away from the scene
Of such antics I'm not keen
I ran down the street
To buy some nice meat

I hastened away from the scene
Of such antics I'm not keen
I ran down the street
To make my retreat

I hastened away from the scene
Of such antics I'm not keen
I ran down the street
To buy some nice meat
Then I forgot where Id been

I wandered about in the rain