More Lame Limericks

This talk of food makes me hungry
And hunger can make me angry,
So just eat right now,
A big bowl of cawl?

This talk of food makes me hungry
And hunger can make me angry,
So just eat right now,
A big bowl of chow,
Before I feed my menagerie.

I do love my dog and my cat,

I do love my dog and my cat
Although both are getting too fat

I do love my dog and my cat
Although both are getting too fat
They need exercise

I do love my dog and my cat
Although both are getting too fat
They need exercise
Just look at their thighs

I do love my dog and my cat
Although both are getting too fat
They need exercise
Just look at their thighs
But they love to curl up in my hat

I like to move around plenty

I like to move around plenty
Walk ten miles or even twenty

I like to move around plenty
Walk ten miles or even twenty
That’s put me to shame

I like to move around plenty
Walk ten miles or even twenty
That's put me to shame
As now I am lame

I like to move around plenty
Walk ten miles or even twenty
That's put me to shame
As now I am lame
And my legs are oh so bendy

I would be quite good on a horse

I would be quite good on a horse
Or driving my auto, of course

I would be quite good on a horse
Or driving my auto, of course
I could trot or zoom

I would be quite good on a horse
Or driving my auto, of course
I could trot or zoom
Ride into the gloom

I would be quite good on a horse
Or driving my auto, of course
I could trot or zoom
Ride into the gloom,
And trot off after my divorce.

Just me and my horse round the world,

Just me and my horse round the world
My hair, his mane flowing unfurled

Just me and my horse round the world
My hair, his mane flowing unfurled
A glint in my eyes

Just me and my horse round the world
My hair, his mane flowing unfurled
A glint in my eyes
No worries no ties

Just me and my horse round the world
My hair, his mane flowing unfurled
A glint in my eyes
No worries no ties
My troubles away I have hurled

A snail who was crossing the road

A snail was crossing the road
When it met an amorous toad

A snail was crossing the road
When it met an amorous toad
“Need a lift?” Toad asked

A snail was crossing the road
When it met an amorous toad
"Need a lift?" Toad asked
His leer was not masked

A snail was crossing the road
When it met an amorous toad
"Need a lift?" Toad asked
His leer was not masked
His intentions were in love mode

He posed crossed leg on his white stool

He posed crossed leg on his white stool
Then dived into the murky pool

He posed cross leg on his white stool
Then dived into the murky pool
Snail thought he was fit

He posed cross leg on his white stool
Then dived into the murky pool
Snail thought he was fit
She liked his quick wit