New Limerick thread, following on...

Coco, next door, has eyes on him
But she is a cat, rather dim
She seductively purrs.
And grooms all her furs.

But I think it is just a whim

I am out to dinner tonight

I am out to dinner tonight
but my diet says eat something light

I am out to dinner tonight
But my diet says eat something light
With calories low

I am out to dinner tonight
But my diet says eat something light
With calories low
I cannot eat more

Already my clothes are too tight

I'll eat less and exercise now

I'll eat less and exercise now
Before I turn I look like a fat cow

I'll eat less and exercise now
Before I become a fat cow
I'll start this tomorrow

I'll eat less and exercise now
Before I become a fat cow
I'll start this tomorrow
To my great sorrow

I'll eat less and exercise now
Before I become a fat cow
I'll start this tomorrow
To my great sorrow
Or my clothes will get tighter, and how!

I’m going to sing in a choir

I’m going to sing in a choir
My voice has gone a bit higher

I’m going to sing in a choir
My voice has gone a bit higher
I sound like a cat

I’m going to sing in a choir
My voice has gone a bit higher
I sound like a cat
On which someone has sat

I’m going to sing in a choir
My voice has gone a bit higher
I sound like a cat
On which someone has sat
And is likely to shortly expire.

I’m thinking of wild water swimming

I'm thinking of wild water swimming
I'm told it's healthy and slimming

I'm thinking of wild water swimming
I'm told it's healthy and slimming
But mind all those rocks

I'm thinking of wild water swimming
I'm told it's healthy and slimming
But mind all those rocks
And watch out for crocs….!

I'm thinking of wild water swimming
I'm told it's healthy and slimming
But mind all those rocks
And watch out for crocs….!
Or the flesh from your bones they’ll be trimming.

Last night all my dreams were quite gruesome

Last night all my dreams were quite gruesome
Grim, about dancing a twosome

Last night all my dreams were quite gruesome
Grim, about dancing a twosome
With Freddy Krueger

Last night all my dreams were quite gruesome
Grim, about dancing a twosome
With Freddy Krueger
And a big Luger

Last night all my dreams were quite gruesome
Grim, about dancing a twosome
With Freddy Krueger
And a big Luger
I'm glad it was just an illusion.

Another day sunny and hot

Another day sunny and hot
Whether you like it or not

Another day sunny and hot
Whether you like it or not
While men bare their chests

Another day sunny and hot
whether we like it or not
While men bare their chests
Girls vests show their breasts