New Limerick thread, following on...

She's begging for dog biscuits now
I'll give her a carrot to chow
Will that do the trick?
It will make the dog sick

She's begging for dog biscuits now
I'll give her a carrot to chow
Will that do the trick?
Will make the dog sick
And really might cause a big row

He thinks he knows better than me

He thinks he knows better than me
And begs, “Let me lie on your knee.”

She's begging for dog biscuits now
I'll give her a carrot to chow
Will that do the trick?
She might like a stick

He thinks he knows better than me
And begs, "Let me lie on your knee
He's a big tom cat

He thinks he knows better than me
And begs, "Let me lie on your knee
He's a big tom cat
Very lazy and fat

He thinks he knows better than me
And begs, "let me sit on your knee
He's a big tom cat
Very lazy and fat
And he smells of Felix and pee

I have a pet rabbit as well

I have a pet rabbit as well
And a tortoise who hides in his shell

I have a pet rabbit as well
And a tortoise who hides in his shell
But my dog is best

I have a pet rabbit as well
And a tortoise who hides in his shell
But my dog is the best
The cat is a pest

I have a pet rabbit as well
And a tortoise who hides in his shell
But my dog is the best
The cat is a pest
The gerbil is always unwell

I’ve built them a two-storey shed

I've built them a two storey shed
Includes a hay loft and a bed

I've built them a two storey shed
Includes a hay loft and a bed
Fresh water and food

I've built them a two storey shed
Includes a hay loft and a bed
Fresh water and food
And when I'm in the mood,

We go out and paint the town red

The cat and the dog like clubbing

The cat and the dog like clubbing
After that, they go pub crawling

The cat and the dog like clubbing
After that, they go pub crawling
Then tired and drunk

The cat and the dog like clubbing
After that, they go pub crawling
Then tired and drunk
With the breath of a skunk

The cat and the dog like clubbing
After that, they go pub crawling
Then tired and drunk
With the breath of a skunk
Looks like they need a good scrubbing.

Cats don't like water so will scratch,

Cats don't like water so will scratch
I have two wounds which are a match

Cats don't like water so will scratch
I have two wounds which are a match
But my dog loves to swim

Cats don't like water so will scratch
I have two wounds which are a match
But my dog loves to swim
And goes to the gym

Cats don't like water so will scratch
I have two wounds which are a match
But my dog loves to swim
And goes to the gym,
In his trunks, he is quite a catch

Coco, next door, has eyes on him

Coco, next door, has eyes on him
But she is a cat, rather dim

Coco, next door, has eyes on him
But she is a cat, rather dim
She seductively purrs.