Grandson of New Limerick (Son of New Limerick contd.)

Now that was some tale to be told
Just wait while I let it unfold
Some said He'd killed Mum

Now that was some tale to be told:
Just wait while I let it unfold
That heap of earth, strange...

Now that was some tale to be told
Just wait while I let it unfold
That heap of earth, strange...
Those motels never change

Now that was some tale to be told
Just wait while I let it unfold
That heap of earth, strange...
Those motels never change
This story is leaving me cold.

There once was a lady from Woking

There once was a lady from Woking
Whose rudeness was most provoking

There once was a lady from Woking
Whose rudeness was most provoking
She shouted and swore

There once was a lady from Woking
Whose rudeness was most provoking
She shouted and swore
Shocked me to the core

There once was a lady from Woking
Whose rudeness was most provoking
She shouted and swore
Shocked me to the core
Twas enough to drive me to smoking

I approached her to remonstrate

I approached her to remonstrate
"Your language is simply not great!

I approached her to remonstrate
" Your language is simply not great!
She started to cry

I approached he to remonstrate
"Your language is simply not great!"
She started to cry
Then spat in my eye

I approached her to remonstrate
"Your language is simply not great!"
She started to cry
Then spat in my eye
Which made me, frankly, irate

The old man at the top of the road

The old man at the top of the road
Lived in a ramshackle abode

The old man at the top of the road
Lived in a ramshackle abode
With twenty-four cats

The old man at the top of the road
Lived in a ramshackle abode
With twenty-four cats
He drove us all bats

The old man at the top of the road
Lived in a ramshackle abode
With twenty-four cats
He drove us all bats
He also kept frogs and a toad

The smell from his house was so bad

The smell from his house was so bad
Well it drove us excessively mad

The smell from his house was so bad
Well it drove us excessively mad
His carpets were rotten

The smell from his house was so bad
Well it drove us excessively mad
His carpets were rotten
He’d clearly forgotten

The smell from his house was so bad
Well it drove us excessively mad
His carpets were rotten
He’d clearly forgotten
The toilet pipe leaks by his Dad.

We had a meet up of locals

We had a meet up of locals
Me and some nearby farm yokels

We had a meet up of locals
Me and some nearby farm yokels
Something had to be done

We had a meet up of locals
Me and some nearby farm yokels
Something had to be done
A yokel had a shotgun....