Grandson of New Limerick (Son of New Limerick contd.)

I had an old uncle who drank
Many pints he regularly sank

I had an old uncle who drank
Many pints he regularly sank
His favourite was ale

I had an old uncle who drank
Many pints he regularly sank
His favourite was ale
He rolled down the dale

I had an old uncle who drank
Many pints he regularly sank
His favourite was ale
He rolled down the dale
Slept it off in a water tank

He got confused when he woke up

He got confused when he woke up
Still holding on to his cup

He got confused when he woke up
Still holding on to his cup
Quoth he 'Where am I?'

He got confused when he woke up
Still holding on to his cup
Quoth he “Where am I?”
Could be a pig sty!

He got confused when he woke up
Still holding on to his cup
Quoth he “Where am I?”
Could be a pig sty!
"I really am well out of luck"

My Auntie arrived just to find him

My Auntie arrived just to find him
She told him " you really are quite dim"

My Auntie arrived just to find him
She told him " you really are quite dim"
"I want a divorce"

My Auntie arrived just to find him
She told him " you really are quite dim"
"I want a divorce -
You’ll give one of course?”

My auntie arrived just to find him
She told him “You really are quite dim”
I want a divorce -
You’ll give one of course?
If not, name my new lover Jim.

Our morals have all gone awry

Our morals have all gone awry
But think - were they ever so high?

Our morals have all gone awry
But think - were they ever so high?
We'd hang out in bars

Our morals have all gone awry
But think - were they ever so high?
We'd hang out in bars
And soup up our cars

Our morals have gone all awry
But think- were they ever so high?
We’d hang out in bars
And soup up our cars
And go out with any old guy.

Next door lived a bitter old maid

Next door lived a bitter old maid
So sad she had never got laid!

Next door lived a bitter old maid
So sad she had never got laid!
So she went online

Next door lived a bitter old maid
So sad she had never got laid!
So she went online
One of these could be mine!

🤣

Next door lived a bitter old maid
So sad she had never got laid!
So she went online
One of these could be mine!
My lovers attentions do fade.

I went back online for myself

I went back online for myself
Having found I was stuck on the shelf

I went back online for myself
Having found I was stuck on the shelf
I dolled myself up

I went back online for myself
Having found I was stuck on the shelf
I dolled myself up
Looking out for a tup

I went back online for myself
Having found I was stuck on the shelf
I dolled myself up
Looking out for a tup
And it worked out well with the twelfth

I was a bit rusty you see

I was a bit rusty you see
It's been quite a few years for me