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Bolshie rose

(17 Posts)
vampirequeen Wed 04-Aug-21 13:08:05

Last year I gave three rose bushes a stern warning. I would give them a lot of tlc but if I didn't get flowers this year then they were going to visit the brown bin. Two obviously didn't believe me or were too poorly despite all my care so today they've moved to the brown bin. The third took me seriously.

"Right," it thought, "You want me to grow then I'll grow."

And indeed it did. It grew taller and taller but didn't produce any flowers. So I warned it that growing wasn't sufficient. I expected flowers.

It didn't respond immediately but then suddenly started to produce buds. I thought the rose bush was behaving but it was simply leading me on because it had obviously worked out a cunning plan.

Today I realised it was mocking me.

"OK," it said. "You wanted flowers. I've given you flowers. But I've made the flowers so big and heavy that if you don't tie them up and support them they'll snap the branch. I'll give you the flowers you insist on but I'll not only cause you work in order to enjoy them but when you're tying them on, I'll make sure that I stick my thorns into you at every opportunity."

Today I tied the flowers to the support and they are indeed beautiful but now my hands look like I've been wrestling a wild cat.

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 05-Aug-21 14:45:43

I know just what you mean! Are they David Austin roses? I’ve got quite a few, had a couple which hardly flowered the first couple of years, seemed like they were getting their feet under the table as it were then fine. Their Sceptered Isle rose needed the flowers propping up for a couple of years then seemed to get stronger stems. This year there was a lovely first flush on all of them then rain ruined most and they’re only just budding up again. Just not a good year for roses I think, well here in Norfolk anyway. What’s really annoying is that there is one rose here which flowers non-stop and thrive on neglect, it was here when we moved in and I’ve never been able to find out what it is. Yes I talk to mine too - if praise and encouragement don’t work they get threats!

Blossoming Thu 05-Aug-21 14:49:25

I have an ‘Albertine’. She is an absolute madam, but when those buds start to open she is heartstoppingly beautiful.

hazel93 Thu 05-Aug-21 16:05:19

Most of mine have been well brought up so give very little trouble - I prune badly, feed when I remember, usually at the "wrong time" but they happily go on flowering.
But, big, huge but, my Gertrude Jekyll is a total nightmare. One each side of an arch and both of them hate me, no matter how tough my gloves, on approach those thorns stand to attention and attack.
The saving grace being sublime scented flowers which repeat so I always forgive - until the next time !

Katie59 Thu 05-Aug-21 18:07:52

They can be fickle for sure, different roses react to any setback differently, late frost damaged a lot of my buds I pruned them and straight away new ones were growing. The only time I’ve had no blooms is when the rose has “gone wild”, no hope there dig it out.

Nannytopsy Thu 05-Aug-21 19:53:17

A gardener told me that Peter Beales roses will do better in East Anglia than DavidcAustin. My DA can’t hold its flowers up either.

vampirequeen Thu 05-Aug-21 19:53:35

My Gertrude Jekyll's are behaving atm but I have no doubt that next year they'll take a leaf out of the vicious rose's book.

I think that owning roses is like owning a cat. We think we own them but they actually own us. We nurture them, feed them and make sure they have enough water. In return they give us mock affection either by snuggling and purring (the cat) or producing glorious flowers (the roses) then when we're off guard they turn on us and rip us to pieces with claws or thorns. grin

lemongrove Thu 05-Aug-21 21:58:00

I freely admit that I’ve had it up to here with roses!
They have all had their marching orders.
I know exactly how to look after, feed, water and spray for greenfly and blackspot etc have paid out loads for really good specimens and planted them in ideal soil and position for the last eight years and they are all behaving badly.Into the brown with them!

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 05-Aug-21 22:23:06

Well I’m glad I’m not alone. Thanks for that tip Nannytopsy, very interesting. ATM the only DA roses flowering well for me are the white thornless Kew Gardens. Because of where they are I often neglect the dead heading but they carry on regardless. Perhaps I should ignore the rest and see if it works! Primadonnas!

Callistemon Thu 05-Aug-21 22:26:45

Ours have thrived on neglect this year, although they did get a severe pruning in the winter.

Two lots of lovely blooms so far. Please don't ask me what they are, apart from two fairly recent gifts they are very old without labels.

Katie59 Fri 06-Aug-21 07:15:35

The problem with DA (or most other) roses is that they are bought in summer potted in compost, planted out and then not looked after properly. They don’t have a strong root system and it takes a couple of years to get established, much better to buy bare root and plant in autumn you will get a full flowering the first year.
Some varieties go on for decades, some fade after 5 yrs, you can’t control weather, but keep up the dead heading and pruning and they will be lovely.

Aldom Fri 06-Aug-21 08:50:46

David Austin sell bare root roses if you pre order. They are sent out in winter with full planting instructions. Years ago I planted a bare root DA Pilgrim rose. It is still flourishing although I left that garden a long time ago. The DA roses in my current garden do well. I always hard prune in winter.
Blossoming Albertine is wonderful isn't she.

lemongrove Fri 06-Aug-21 08:58:57

Mine are all David Austin roses planted as bare root and all four are awful, hence my giving up on them.Everything else planted in our very full garden is lovely.
It’s just one of those things, roses don’t do well here.Am going to concentrate more on clematis, we have six and all do really well, also fuchsia.

DillytheGardener Fri 06-Aug-21 09:04:29

My roses were magnificent this year and I was so proud, until the floods and driving rain hit and they all looked as if they had done three rounds with Muhammad Ali. Very upset. All my petunias and pansies similarly hit. If this mad weather is going to be the new normal because of global warming I may have to rethink my planting.

MerylStreep Fri 06-Aug-21 09:05:35

I too have had it up to here with roses. Far too precious for their own good. ?

NotSpaghetti Fri 06-Aug-21 09:23:13

My father loved roses and had hundreds of them. He worked six days a week so it was a big job but he barely fed them, he did prune them and tied up the climbers though.
We had roses right through Christmas and new year and then a mad rush of climbers in early spring.
I remember small vases with roses and snowdrops together.

I don't know what varieties they were as I wasn't interested then. I remember him buying "new" roses as they were developed. One called "blue moon" in the 1960s which was disappointingly not blue but sort-of pale purple/lilac. It was quite fragrant and an interesting shape but not blue.

Given how little time he had I was called in to dead-head. Other than this I think my take-away is that they don't like too much fuss.
Are we being to nice to them?

NotSpaghetti Fri 06-Aug-21 09:23:27

*too nice