DorsetPenn.. Very good advice indeed from your mother... but I don't necessarily agree with your comments about your DIL, or the going back to work as soon as possible after you have children. I personally think that if you want to stay at home and be a full time mum, and have the means to do it, it is not such a bad idea, and as far as losing your independence is concerned, why would you? A mothers job is just as important as going out to work, and therefore earns respect and a share in family income. Or am I just old fashioned?