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Long Lost Family

(14 Posts)
Supernan Wed 23-May-12 21:41:47

Does anyone else out there have half brothers/sisters they have never met, and don't even know if their siblings are aware of their existence.

Anagram Wed 23-May-12 21:48:19

Yes. But I have no interest in contacting them now, it would be opening a huge can of worms. It's enough for me to know they're out there, and I love them.

Anne58 Wed 23-May-12 21:54:46

I've got a feeling that I may have, on my mothers side due to something she said on one of the last occasions that we spoke, which was some years ago.

I know that I have on my biological fathers side, but have never felt inclined to contact either him or them. (My mother was unmarried when she had me in 1958, I believe that he was a married man, I know his name and could investigate if I wanted to.)

nanaej Wed 23-May-12 22:05:38

Hmm.. probably not but as a child I always thought I would like to have been adopted. I had a close friend who was and I wanted to be 'special' and 'chosen' like him!

Anagram Wed 23-May-12 22:19:04

Any special reason you're asking, Supernan?

goldengirl Thu 24-May-12 08:42:08

Yes. I found my father's half brother after my dad died. He's Australian and we went over there to visit the family who made us very welcome. The amazing thing was that he looked just like dad and one of his daughters looked just like me!
Also after dad's death we found his other half brother [different family altogether - very complex family situation!] who he did know about and met up with occasionally to discuss their mutual grandmother for whom dad had responsibility as she'd brought him up [again another complex situation!]. These 2 weren't close but we've since met up with the family and get on really well.
So from thinking I'm an only child of only child parents I have relatives galore which can be a bit overwhelming at times but also lovely.

Pennysue Thu 24-May-12 18:20:26

We knew my MIL had children pre 1942 but she told us that they had all died in a bombing raid. She did however tell me their names. Some 4 years ago I was contacted through Genes re-united by my oldest brother in law. It was one heck of a shock. Remember thinking how the heck do I tell my OH!

It transpired that MIL had never married father of the first 4 children. Her first was brought up by GP and did not know until he was 11 that they were not his parents but his Grandparents. We will never know what happened, MIL served in the RAF during the war, although she would have been exempt as a Mother. the children were evacuated and only have a vague memory of seeing their mother once.

Will not bore you with a long convoluted story but through Genes Reunited we found the other 3 children and all 4 have been in touch. 1, sadly found it to much and following a visited his sister in the USA has had no further contact with any of us.

We are in regular contact and it has been brilliant. First time we met the oldest child, I could see what my husband will look like in 15 years time! One sister looked exactly like MIL and one cousin could have been my daughter's twin. Mannerisms, love of animals, etc.

merlotgran Thu 24-May-12 19:07:03

Two years ago I was contacted by a company similar to Heirhunters. At first I thought it was junk mail and nearly binned it. When I checked them out I realised it was all totally legit and I was in line to inherit some money from a second cousin I didn't know existed because he died intestate. It's still dragging on because solicitors will use every way possible to run up costs (Jarndyce and Jarndyce?) but the end should be in sight soon. There are a few of us due to inherit and we only have a rough idea of how much it will be but one nice outcome is: We have been in touch with second cousins living only an hour away that I didn't know existed, We have a great uncle living in Canada who is 91 and computer literate so we are now e-mailing eachother. I know my grandmother, who struggled to bring up my father as a single parent, (mentioned on another thread), would be clapping her hands to know that the money has come down her line as, in the true Victorian way, she always said she wished she had 'something to leave'. Well, she does now!! I think a lot about ways I can say 'thank you' to those who would have benefitted if they were still alive.

Supernan Sat 26-May-12 18:20:43

There is a reason Anagram. Sorry it's been a day or two in responding. I know I have two half sisters on my paternal side. They are younger than me. I traced one as she is a lecturer at a university & her details are all there online.
My children encourage me to make contact, but I have mixed feelings. I was interested in your comments - that you love them, but you don't want to open a can of worms. I guess from this that they know you exist. I watch the tv programe "Long Lost Family" & there is always a happy ending, but I suspect this is not always the case.

Anagram Sat 26-May-12 18:27:45

I don't know whether my own half-sisters know about me, Supernan. The elder two were only 5 and 3 when I left home, and another was born after that. I say I love them, because I did for the short time I knew them, but I don't know whether the eldest remembers me at all, or what she has been told - if anything!

When I was younger I always meant to make contact, but not now. My stepmother is still alive, and would not make it easy.

Supernan Sat 26-May-12 18:47:01

I do find it sad that you actually knew them as little ones. My guess is they probably do remember you. You speak of your stepmother not making things easy, I think I have a similar situation. As far as I know she is still alive. I did make contact with my father's sister (my aunt). But when I tried to persue with her the subject the shutters came down.

Anagram Sat 26-May-12 18:57:27

Yes, such situations are very sad, and the hurt can last a lifetime. Who knows what's been said to whom, and with what motive?

I have had to accept things as they are. I have found out (through the wonders of the internet!) where my half-sisters are living, and the eldest is quite a high-flying professional. I can only wish them well and feel regret that we don't know each other now.

johanna Sat 26-May-12 20:42:58

anagram flowers wine wine wine

Anagram Sat 26-May-12 21:29:04

Thanks, Johanna. And I think Supernan deserves some wine and flowers too! smile